Dear Diary Saturday...

Oh GAWD am I tired! Let's catch up, shall we?

Yesterday at work was total insanity....I had a skeleton crew of only 7 scheduled, one of those called in sick, and then one went to lunch and had a "family emergency" and did not come back. Yeah, it was a fun day! Then top that day off with a co-worker of mine's husband having to crawl under a dock to rescue a two week old kitten from a little of five...all dead but the one and the mother having disappeared, coming up to me with tears in her eyes as she needed to find it a home! Yeah, called Kjori and she was going over there to get the kitten. Clincher? If they can't find it a home, Dylan and I will be inducting it into our new home as our first cat AND I have a new location where Kjori and I will be trapping. Yeah for me!

When I got home, my dad was waiting for me. He had cleaned out the storage room and was totally exhausted. I got to rearrange the new shelves, fill them all up with the can goods, clean up his mess, throw everything away, etc, etc, etc. I finally finished, took a shower, and was done for the evening.

Today was good. Did my weight in and down another 2.8 pounds for a total of.....drum roll please.....30.2 pounds!! After that, Mom and I went for a day of shopping and the new Wild Oats in Jordan Landing is WONDERFUL. Then when I got home, Daddy had another project for me...putting rain gutters on our Tuff Shed. After that was finished, I mowed the yard, then I weeded the back flower beds, then I Miracle Grow'ed the whole yard, wrapped my Father's Day gift, took a shower, now I an relaxing. Who knows what tomorrow has in store for me!!

By the way, make sure to tell every father Happy Father's Day tomorrow!!!!

Food:
Breakfast - cereal, banana, milk
Snack - zero
Lunch - zero
Dinner - 4 pieces of pizza!

Dear Diary Friday...

I slept last night. I took some pills and slept. It was drug induced, but my mind was finally allowed to shut itself off. It was nice.

Had to take Mom to the Instacare yesterday after work....ear infection. It started just yesterday, so we caught it early.

Also came home to my dad cleaning out the basement. In our washer and dryer room, it is also a storage room where my dad a 100 years ago built shelves. Well, he has decided he does not like those shelves anymore so he bought some metal shelves to install and has decided to clean out EVERYTHING before he does. Oh and did I mention that he is putting it all in the garage and thinks that he might be putting it in MY garage? Actually, I would let him because he is doing such a wonderful job of throwing things away and straightening up the basement. I think it is part of his way of finding something to do because he is bored and also his way of doing a little self-therapy since the time is coming of when I will be leaving and there will be not one, but TWO extra rooms in the house. Oh and my mother informed me yesterday that my bedroom will now be a "guest bedroom" if I end up leaving my bed. Oh and she also is going to finish up the quilts she has made and will not be doing anymore....not much fun anymore when your eye sight is going. Therefore, the big room downstairs is going to need a makeover....new paint and new furniture. I am really excited about that!!

Well, I think my attitude is a bit better and I don't feel so "overwhelmed" today. I found out yesterday that in our walk through next week, the family we are buying the home from are going to do the walk through with us so that they can show us how to master a few things, like the sprinklers and the alarm. I love that idea because I was concerned about it. Then we are signing the papers on July 1st at 4:00 pm. I have also decided that I am not rushing and I am going to take my time making this house the way I want it...I want a home...a nice place that is comfortable for everyone and everything. I want cushions and comfy couches....I want it to be warm and inviting and full of love. It might take awhile for me to get it that way, but I am not going to rush and I am going to enjoy this whole process.....eventually I am going to enjoy this whole process....

Food:
Breakfast-cereal, milk, banana
Snack-orange
Lunch-I am going to Subway today because I am craving it!!
Snack-apple
Dinner-???

Dear Diary Thursday...

Well, Toni is gone....who will entertain me at work now?????

Anyways, I have a complete melt down and at this point, I don't even care. I have not slept since Saturday more than a total of 6 hours. I keep falling apart every time I think about the house. I am sure it is PMS but I am in a total depression. I just don't care right now about anything. I am immersing myself in trivial meaningless projects just so that I don't have to think about it. At this point, I just want it to be over with. I am sure that by this time next week, I will be positive, enjoying the whole "house experience" again. But for now, nothing.

Food:

Breakfast - cereal, fat free milk, banana
Snack - carrots
Lunch - weight watchers Asian style beef and vegetables(threw it away, no appetite)
Snack - carrots and celery
Dinner - ?

Dear Diary Wednesday...

We have our walk through next week, we sign the papers on July 1st and take possession on the 2nd. To say that I am stressed is a huge understatement. We don't have furniture, we don't have any of the utilities transferred to our name....we don't have SHIT. I am back to the same spot I was a few months ago....stressing, stressing, and more stressing. I probably will be going out this weekend, along with all of the other running around I need to do for Father's Day, at start picking up things for our bathrooms....if I have time. And top that all off with the fact that I am in a very bad mood...should make for a fun day. Gawd I wish I had more time off during the week to get things done!

Food:
Breakfast - cereal, fat free milk, banana
Snack - none
Lunch - Del Taco
Snack - carrots and celery

Dear Diary Tuesday...

I am in much better spirits today. I did not sleep at all last night, but I feel very rested and relaxed.

I had a chance to speak with our loan officer yesterday and he put my mind at ease on a lot of issues. And the nicest part of the whole conversation is that he is writing off ALL of his expenses just because he and our agent are such close friends and because he has enjoyed working with Dylan and I and know how hard it is for first time home buyers. He has been patient with me, especially since the message I left him on Saturday was not very nice.

Dylan came over last night and we signed all of our loan papers, basically becoming "bitches" to the mortgage company. However, I felt such a sense of relief after we signed them. How odd...

Things are starting to get a bit more calm at home. Mom knows I am angry, but she is still playing stupid as to why. I figure that by this weekend, hopefully, things will be back to normal and my family will be more on board with their support. My big brother Terry did inform me last night that he has taken the whole week of July 4th off to help us in any way that we need. Now, how sweet is that.

Food:

Breakfast - fat free milk, raisin bran cereal, banana
Snack - apple
Lunch - WW three cheese zita
Snack - carrots and celery
Dinner - ?

Dear Diary Monday...

I truly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Nothing is making me happy and everyone is irritating me. It is nothing in particular, just life in general. A few things that are irritating me:

1) People who stalk other people via the internet and leave them message via their blogger comments or through e-mail off of their blog. GET A FREAKIN' LIFE! And also people that e-mail somebody thinking that they "know them and their life"....who really cares!

2) The whole thing going on with my mortgage. Don't just send me paperwork and expect that I have the knowledge to decipher the 40 pages!

3) My family who thinks that they know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING.

4) People who assume that I KNOW ALL. Yes, this person did manage to get their head bit off this morning.

Yeah, it is going to be a day.

Food:
1) Breakfast: cereal, no fat milk, banana
2) Morning snack: grapefruit
3) Lunch: WW meal, carrots and celery
4) Snack: Apple
5) Dinner: not sure at this point

Dear Diary Sunday...

Friday I left work at 1:00 and Dylan and I had an early dinner at McGrath's, went to Furburbia, did some running around. Unfortunately we called it an early evening because my head was threatening a migraine because of the pressure that was building in the air.

Saturday, I went to my weight in, then Dylan and I went to see "Harry Potter III" which was the best one yet! He and I then headed over to Toni and Rob's a bit early because she decided to get out of doing the rest of the work by falling on her knee and head and causing herself to go to the hospital. Toni, if you were tired and did not want to work anymore, you could have just taken a freakin' nap!! In all serious, I was about in tears by the time we made it over to Toni's because the phone call from Rob with his little voice quivering letting me know he was taking Tonster to the ER had me scared to death. Thankfully, Dylan, Chet, and Shane all came through for me and did not VERBALLY express that they minded me taking control of the kitchen and ordering everyone around. The feast that had already been prepared before we got there was amazing and it looked like everyone had a great time....Especially Grandma and Grandpa. Thank the Goddess that Toni is okay other than I am sure she is going to be very sore and stiff for a few days.

Today has been a non-stop day of hell in my house. I wondered how soon it would be before people decided to start really giving me a bad time about getting the house and showing their true colors and not being supportive...And it has happened. I am currently not speaking to one of the parents, I got lectured by one of my brothers, and now am hiding out downstairs so I don't say something I might regret. What I can say is that in all of this, I am thankful for the wonderful and supportive friendships that I have in my life....They and Dylan have made this house buying much more fun and pleasant than I ever thought it would be.