Saturday, May 19, 2001

I love to work in the yard. I love to work in the yard so much that I wish I could be in Denver to mow Scott's yard. I actually worked in the yard today until the point of a migraine. Now, I am not sure if the migraine came due to the sun or the smell of manure...probably a combination of both. However, I am disappointed in myself because all I did was work in the yard. Have yet to get the bathroom painted, and didn't even think about staining the deck yet. I believe those will be projects that I will take on during the week after work....maybe even call in sick one day and do one of them...who knows! Is it sick that I have become obsessed with these projects? Probably not more so than usual since I am ALWAYS obsessed with some type of project. Does anybody else stay up late into the night writing lists of things to do for the week besides me???

Let's discuss love, shall we? I believe that I am the only person in the world that is capable of turning off that emotion. And all that know me will agree since most have seen my love turn to hate in a the blink of an eye. And I believe that I actually enjoy the emotion of hate far more than love. Hate makes me feel more alive, more invigorated. Love is a wonderful emotion and I have been learning more and more of it with my hunny-bunny. He has truly taught me what "love" is capable of doing for a person. Scott, you will be in that "state" soon enough, just learn from what you are going through now. And Michelle and Jer, your "love" is almost frightening for the intensity of everybody know who has ever been around them when they are fighting. And Michelle, if you use this paragraph as your justification for me having a heart, may I point out that also in this paragraph that I stated two points in my favor of not having a heart...1) I can turn love off, and 2) I enjoy hate more.

Is it a sign of age when you realize that points in time are coming much too soon?

Friday, May 18, 2001

Oh Michelle, you truly believe that I have a heart? That is so nice of you, diluted, but very nice. I honestly was not born with any type of heart. I believe that in my previous life I was either a hyena or a lion because I just cannot stand the weaker folks and feel that they need to be fed upon. Thankfully, I think you were in my pride/pack so we get a long well. However, you were one of the ones that was born with a heart.

Scott, I am concerned and you need to e-mail me and tell me what is going on before I freak out and start making shit up in my head about you that I will need to put on this blog for the whole world to read. Talk to me, baby!!!!

Okay, I need to jump on the wagon about the death penalty. I am COMPLETELY for the death penalty, if it is carried out swiftly. I don't believe in the appeals process, at least not more than once. I think the death penalty should be for the public to witness, if this is agreed upon by the victims family. As you are all aware, with the murder of Marc, I find great peace knowing that after the trial of his murderers, they will be put to death. I don't feel that they should be able to take another breath when they have taken the life of another person. Archaic.....maybe. Vindictive.....definatly. I believe what you give out should come back to you the way of the Wiccan.

gee, can't imagine who voted on my honey bunny's poll that they are prejudice against Fat People!!! Good thing I still love them.....

Anyways, I guess it is just not in the cards to be able to go through a whole day without some type of stress at work. Have another co-worker who threw a hissy fit today. "Why?" you ask in a concerned, motherly voice? This would be because of the fact that she can't seem to get her work done. Now, this is the interesting point.....I take double (and I am not exagerrating) the amount of calls that she does, process claims, work report, and a shit load of other projects, but I am able to keep up on my work load. She, however, crys and whines that she can't do it all, ends up giving half of her shit to a supervisor who then has to spend her day trying to get through this ridiculous amount of work and ends up throwing away most of it because it is not necessary!!! SOOOOO, my supervisor got on her today because she was logging out of the calls and expecting others to take all her calls, and trying to do other stuff. And this co-worker had the nerve to freak out!! She even DEMANDED that she get time off the phones so she can do her paperwork. How does this happen? How is it that every other person on this account can get through her workload every single day AND take calls but her??????

relax-a-phobia...that is what I have. I am excited about working my ass of this weekend and not being here at work. What the hell is wrong with me? I am going to do some yardwork, get my bathroom painted, and if I have time, I am going to try to get my porch sanded and stained. What is wrong with me????????

Had a great time with the huggy-bunny's family last night at the Meat-O-Rama...I have never been so excited about the eating of dead animal flesh as I am when we go there. I think it is because they make the cattle run through crushed garlic and roll around in their Brazillian spices before they run them past out table to munch on. God, what great food!!!! Oh, the salads are pretty damn good as well.

God, Scott, sorry I am such a slackered in checking out your blog. I will definatly be doing that tonight so I can read all the exciting news!!! All I know is that I love you, miss you, and as always, am impressed with you!!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2001

I am soooooo sick I can just scream. For the last two days at work, by the afternoon I have been sick to the tummy, wanting to scream. Well, today I was lucky enough to wake up this way. I have now resorted to Alka Seltzer, and it is not even making me feel good. Could it be that I have finally succumbed to the flu or, *gasp* an ulcer??? I am almost sick enough that I am willing to make an appointment to a doctor...ALMOST. We will see what happens. The unfortunate part is that I am too go to dinner with my huggy-bunny and his family tonight to the Rodizio Grill, or as I like to call it, Meat-O-Rama. *SIGH* what if I can't make myself sick on the amount of cooked flesh that is brought to me tonight?????

It finally happened...I got a damned speeding ticket!!! I decided to take a "new" way to work today and that was my first mistake! Mr. Nice Officer ( not saying this sarcastically, he was very sweet and funny!) clocked me going around the corner on 3500 South doing 72 mph, pulled his cool car out in FRONT of me (I guess to slow me down?) clocked me again doing 67 mph but only ticketed me for going 9 over....oh, did I forget to tell you the speed limit is 40 mph??? He asked me why I was going so fast, so I thought honesty would be best, told hime "Because I am an idiot." He laughed, wrote me up for a $60.00 ticket and it won't go on my record! BUT the good news is, I was wearing my seat belt...which isn't normal for me!!!!! So, I at least got that first ticket out of the way!!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2001

Oh, forgot to tell everybody about me blowing up at work yesterday! I got my ass chewed out on Tuesday for not taking the 4 calls that were holding. It may have had something to do with the fact that 1) just got off a call and 2) HAD A FUCKING CALL HOLDING!!!! Anyways, I blew up yesterday at a friend/supervisor because I am tired of doing all that I do, just to be ripped for not doing more. So, I have decided those people on my account that don't do SHIT and get away with it AND DON'T get their asses chewed have come upon something, so I will be modeling myself after them from now on. I figure that I should be getting some type of raise for it!!

Oh, and if your girlfriend was sick all day at work and you knew about it, don't you think you should call her when you get off work to check on her? Just a thought........

It is almost 7:30 am and I have already put in 1 1/2 hours of overtime today!! 'Nuff said.

I have been such a slackered about working out!!! With all the stress that I have been having at my job, over the upcoming trial of Marc's murderers, and just general life's shit, I haven't worked out except at home! I am such a loser!!!!!!!!! I will hopefully be getting more into the swing of things in the near future.

And Michelle, thanks for putting those poems on your blog, I needed a good cry!!!! Do you know how difficult that is for somebody who has no heart to begin with??????