Dear Diary Friday...

Mood.....average.

I went to my eye appointment yesterday and there is no real name that they can give for the elevated eye pressure, but I am now on two different medications for the stabbing pain, swollen eyeballs, and itching that I suddenly get when ever I have an allergic reaction. The one eye drop is twice a day, the second eye drop I have to only use when I am at my worst because it actually causes glaucoma. The good news is that all of my visual field studies were way above average and my eye pressure has gone down a bit.

Dylan and I also have another cat. I am not going to go into in depth details, but it was one we knew we would end up with. Dylan's mom and dad went above and beyond to help out his great grandmother with getting a cat, and after a couple of weeks of screaming, crying, harsh words, almost an end of a marriage, and myself being totally disrespected, we have a beautiful young calico and we have named her Jackie (short for Jack O' Lanter the Ripper). She is still adjusting but I know we can give her the kind of home and love that she deserves after the hell she has been through.

Today we are going to have a "fun day" as Dylan so adorably put it. We are going to go see a movie, we are going to run around and relax, just all in all really enjoy not being at work and me not being at work at home!! I am hoping the entire weekend will be like this so I can get out of this mood.

I saw Toni briefly yesterday so we could exchange Valentine's and she looked so damn good!!! Thanks again Toni for the hilarious card and the adorable frog....both are very cherished.

Dear Diary Thursday...

Mood...very, very negative.

Well, my sister made another comment. This time she said to my Mom that the only reason I have asked my mom with helping out with the wedding is so that I can have "an open check book". If you know me, you know I am very self sufficient. I don't go to others for help, I don't seek out anyone to "pay my way"....I can take care of myself and have for a very long time. I am proud of my independence. This latest comments was it. I am broke. I am hurt not only that she would say something like that about me but I am hurt that I was not even worth defending. My Mom doesn't feel she needs to defend me because, as she put it, "consider the source". But it still hurts, regardless of the source. I know she is jealous, I know her life totally sucks, I know she is lashing out... but why should all of this hate be directed at me? She has no idea I know of all the snide comments she has made and I won't break my relationship with my Mom to attack her. But I am still hurt.

I wish I could say that the venting helped, it didn't....

Dear Diary Tuesday...

Mood....good.

Last night was wonderful. Dylan made reservations for us at The Melting Pot and our first, and only, experience at that restaraunt was great. The food was unbelievable and the company was perfect. I wish I was able to eat more than I did, but with how rich everything was I actually got sick. We then headed home where I crawled in bed early to read.....and then Chet and Shane came! It was so wonderful to see them and they brought Dylan and I the most beautiful red Teddy Bear with Ghiradelli chocolates. I love my two boys!!! I slept pretty soundly and woke up this morning to NOT wanting to go into work because of the snow. I now wish I had stayed home because the drive up to work was absolutely terrifying....the worst I have had so far. It was slick, icy, everything a winter road should be. And now I have a headache on top of that. I think I am going to bed extra, extra early tonight.

I picked Toni and I up a book called "God's Brothel" about polygamy. It is a very interesting, VERY informative look about polygamy in Utah and other states based on the stories of 18 women who escaped. I have always been interested in polygamy because my great, great, great grandfather was one of the first men convicted and who did time in Sugarhouse Prison for polygamy. Thankfully he did not have children by his second wife....he married her as she was a widow with children already...and had two homes next two each other and took care of both wives. I do not agree with polygamy in ANY form and for ANY reason and this book justifies my beliefs....it is an evil practice done for the the sexual gratification of deviant men. As I have always felt, the men that practice polygamy today are not only delusional in their beliefs about being Prophets or Sons of God but hide under the cloak of "religious freedom" so that they can practice rape, pedophilia, and adultery and have a clean conscience. If you get a chance, I strongly suggest reading this book.

Dear Diary Monday...

Mood....fantastic!

Happy Valentine's Day to EVERYONE and mostly to the most important, most loved, most wonderful fiance' a girl could ever have, my Dylan.

Dear Diary Sunday...

Mood....good.

Had a long week. I spent a lot of extra time at work and/or working from home. I am hoping that as this month progresses, I can start to relax.

Toni's surgery went wonderful, just as I expected. She was home by Friday, tired, sore, crampy, but home and that is the most important. She finally had one day to herself, yesterday, so I am hoping she did a lot of relaxing.

Friday was Barb's birthday so Dylan and I went to my folks and had cake and ice cream. It was a good evening, no bickering or backstabbing, and I believe had a wonderful time.....at least I hope she did.

Yesterday both Dylan and I worked some OT and then when we got home we went to Olive Garden and then to Furburbia and then to Petsmart. I now have a new Hamster, Remy, who is silver and white. He is just a baby and the most adorable little hamster ever. He won my heart a couple of weeks ago and I was worried he was gone. But when we went last night and the gal helping us lifted the little condo, there he was, sound asleep, until he saw me. He then came over to the cage window and stood up to say, "Hey I remember you!" and the rest is history. We bought him a new cage as well, one that is a little more protected from cats.

Today I am taking mom shopping and then I think I will be working from home the remainder of the day and evening. I am going to try and just relax and have a nice evening and get some energy back. Who knows how much energy I am going to need for the week.

Oh and HUGE thanks to the crew AGAIN who came over for dinner and to start the planning of the wedding....here is what we know so far: September 24th; casual event where everyone is EXPECTED to wear levi's; Fall colors consisting of plums, rust, greens, golds; Dylan will handle the music; Shane and Michelle are working on the invitations; Shane and Chet have graciously allowed us to have this entire event in their home; Toni is in charge of my food (or at least some of it) and I think I will put her in charge of bouncing out any unwanted guests as well; Shane says "NO CHINETTE"; and the rest is a blur right now. We are going to have official/unofficial bride and groomsmen and I have alredy chosen Toni as one of mine. It is going to be fun and I can actually say right now, with very little queasiness, that I am marginally getting excited.