Dear Diary Saturday....

Had a horrible time getting to sleep last night, but I believe it was due to the two hour nap I had yesterday. I took quite a bit of medication to bed with me, so I eventually did fall asleep. Unfortunately, I woke up feeling groggy, exhausted, and sore....but the more I am moving around, the better I feel. And I am sure as soon as I jump into the shower and scrub myself off, I will feel like a whole new woman. And I damn well better since I need to get some shopping done as my cats and dogs believe that they are starving as they have no new treats in the house!! I also have to do the Costco thing, which is always fun and scary at the same time! THEN hopefully, I will get to hang out with Dylan for the remainder of the day and evening.

Oh, and according to the Witch Almanac Calendar, our color today is GRAY....

Dear Diary Friday...

This has been a trying week. I spent 13 hours at work on Monday, no breaks, no lunch, nothing. I finally crawled home. Spent a fantastic Tuesday and Wednesday with Dylan. Yesterday, I had another 13 hour day at work and I could feel the "sickness" that I have been trying to fight off creeping up on me. I had the stuffy head, the sore throat, the aching body, however, I still continued on and busted my ass trying to get things done. I finally crawled home again, jumped into a hot bath thinking it would make me feel better and I was WRONG! My chest had been hurting a great deal, thanks to the crude in my chest and having done push ups for two days and so the muscles were sore. I went to bed, extremely early even for me, and tossed and turned with sweat pouring over me, sleep not to be had. I had my heating blanket on my chest, a heating pad on my chest, nothing seemed to loosed up the tightness. Finally at 2:30 this morning, I gave up and called my boss to let her know I was not going to make it in to work and then I realized, I had a freakin' headache that could kill a water buffalo! So, I took Nyquil and fell into bed, finally achieving some sleep. I got up and have been on the couch ever since, except for when I crawled back into bed for a couple of hours. I have drank over two gallons of liquid....ice tea, water, and orange juice....I have taken my Zinc in HUGE doses, I have taken my Vitamin C in HUGE doses and finally about an hour ago, the headache went away. I think I have over come. Dylan is convinced it is the hours I have put into work, but it needed to be done, so I have no regrets. And starting Monday, I will no longer be able to stay late as I am returning to my regime at the gym! YEAH!!!

I am so looking forward to Spring! I have already been receiving all of my cataloges for seeds and plants and it is making me very, very antsy to start planting! However, having made the mistake and planted early only to cause it to blizzard for three more weeks, I will be patient and wait until May and June....maybe. I have decided to start some of my plants indoors this year and I will be trying out some new types of plants. I want to try a new pumpkin, a new pepper, and a new HUGE tomatoe this year!

Happy New Year's Day....

Yesterday was a wonderful day. Dylan and I got together and limped around a few malls, we both bought new shoes (I don't EVEN want to hear it!) and then met up with Toni and Rob for our annual New Year's Eve dinner at the Black Angus. Poor Toni was freezing throughout dinner!! Dylan and I then went and rented a couple of videos and ended up NOT watching them as they were having an all night feast of really good comedians on HBO. I made Dylan sit through Eddie Izzard, who is probably one of my most favorite comedians, but you have to watch him from start to finish as he is constantly bringing in references from things he said earlier in the show. I love him! How could you not love a 6 foot plus transvestite male on heels!!

Anyways, I woke up this morning to not such good news. My brother Ladd, the one who broke his neck in his own kitchen this summer, went to the doctor yesterday because his stomach has been hurting. Come to find out, the doctor rushed him into immediate emergency surgery for a strangulated hernia! Strangulated hernias can, and will, kill you! So, if all went well with the surgery, Ladd will be released today....we are just waiting to find out. I think, if given the opportunity, I am going to kill him the next time I see him! Ladd has always been one of my "favorites" as he is the next to youngest. We use to golf together, sleep outdoors together, watch tv and movies together, go the mall....all of that stuff. And he is a "looker" so all of the girls use to follow us around, which was hilarious! So I get a little "emotional" when it comes to him and his stupidity. Okay, I know, I know the hernia was not his fault but STILL!!

Today will be a relaxing day with Dylan. We are going to watch the video's we rented, eat dinner, probably go to our duck park, and just generally relax and gain some energy. I am trying to force as much of my energy on him as he can stand as he is needing it! I am so happy he took this week off for himself!!!

Happy New Year's Eve...

Wow...what an incredibly hard year. I could not be more thankful to have this year over and done with, but in retrospect I know a great deal of the pain that I have gone through, and watching the pain of others, has made me a stronger person. A lot of the lessons I would have gladly not gone through, but that is not my decision. I take the lessons given to me, and as painful as they may be, and as much as I struggle and fight against them, I learn from each and everyone. Each scar is a reminder of what I have learned. Hopefully 2003 will be filled with much happiness, much joy, much love and I wish that for all of my friends, my "family".

I have decided on what my New Year's Resolutions will be, and they ARE subject to change:
1) Going to the gym as part of my life, not as a hobby
2) Leave work AT work and come home to enjoy myself
3) Make Christmas a special time next year, do more craft projects and much more decorating
4) Spend much more time with friends
a) At least one big gathering at my house, hopefully a barbecue or some such nonsense
5) Read more
6) Take more time for my needs
7) Be healthier, physically, spiritually, mentally
8) Involve myself more with the Craft
9) Plant "special" plants this year, ones that I will take care of for generations and will have more meaning to me than pansies and petunias
10) Try new things....roller coasters, airplanes......experience more that life has to offer
11) Quit fearing doctors....go see them when you do stupid things like hurt your leg......

Anyways, I will try to be more "alive" and experience more, including being with my friends and family more....to truly enjoy the company of others. However, in the same space of time, I will no longer allow the negativity to invade my life. The thought of removing people from my life is not a thought I relish, but realize it is only for the best. Sometimes severing ties is in the best interest of both parties.

Again, Happy New Year's Eve to everyone.....please be safe.....

Dear Diary Sunday....

The day has already started out right. I slept in an additional 20 minutes, so I was up at 8:20, which is abnormal for me but it felt good.

Last night, we spent the evening with Jeremy and Michelle, Brian and Shelly, Kimberly, Tevin, Toni and Rob, and Jeffy over at the Poors. It was relaxing, entertaining, and thought provoking. Michelle and I have been miscommunicating for the last month with me trying to get a hold of her, without her getting my messages and her trying to get a hold of ME without me getting her messages. So it was nice touching base with everyone, even though my energy was pretty depleted by the time we got there. I am back to being fully "balanced" so I am back to practicing the Craft again and last night being in a room with a lot of depleted energy (after the holidays, that happens) so I was drained in a hurry. The company was fantastic, though. And poor Jeffy even came sick!!!!!

Today is going to be a "project" and "relax" day. I am making potatoe and ham soup, home made bread, and putting all of my Christmas presents away and getting my room cleaned, which the clutter is driving me insane. I already have my wash going and my den is about to be vacuumed. I am not going to bust my ass getting things done and am going to enjoy the time I have to myself to day to appreciate my parents, enjoy THEIR company, and relax. I am sure I will do some napping as well!!!

Looking forward to some time off this week. My company will be closed on Tuesday and Wednesday and both of those days are completely scheduled out to be with Dylan, as well as the weekend. He works today and then is off the rest of the week, which is wonderful as he is DESPERATLY needing some time to himself to recharge his own batteries. I am afraid that my depression crept into his spirit as well, over the holidays, and has drained him completely. Hopefully he does a whole bunch of nothing in his week off!!!