Thursday, May 20, 2004

Dear Diary Thursday, some more...

Toni made me go to Gringos today...and it was not TOO bad. She kept me very entertained with the adorable little "duck walk" she had going because of the small tampon she is wearing on her toe. Ah, it is nice to openly harass and tease a friend who can take it without freaking out!

I went and got my nails done after work AND started my official "tanning", or as we are affectionately calling it at work for me, my "pinking" since everyone knows that is what color I am going to go. I actually have a bit of color, but I HATE the smell of the bronzer you wear!!!!!

Tomorrow is the big day for my dad.......the polishing of the lenses to remove the gray film. It will be such a great blessing when he is able to see as perfect as when he first had them done. He has been so miserable with not being able to see again.

Oh, and I got my new catalog for classes kids! Here are the options I think that all are interested in should consider with me.....Ghost Hunting, Pottery(but it is just not thrown pots), Spanish, or Self-Defense for women. What do you all think???????

Dear Diary Thursday...

Shoot! I woke up with a tummy that does not want to play nice today and I am not really enjoying it. Currently, Toni is trying to convince me that either Gringos, tequila, or milk will calm it. I think she is high...

Dinner with Dee last night was phenomenal. We sat at Applebees for 5 hours and I loved every moment. We discussed everything under the sun, and reconnected in a way that we have not in months. The conversation was unhurried and relaxing and enjoyable for every minute. I am sure I bored her to tears a few times. The most enjoyable part was realizing that:
1) we both are ready for changes that are coming in our life and looking forward to it with GUSTO
2) enjoy being in control of our lives, taking responsibility for our action and that which happens to us
3) enjoy living and loving with passion
4) can agree to disagree and still love one another

I love DEE! Thank you again for a wonderful evening and I look forward to doing it again soon.

Today, other than my tummy, I can feel the energy coursing through me that I have been lacking for sometime. I owe Dee in part for that positive energy, but I think it is also do to the fact that I just LOVE LIFE and really realized it last night. How odd that one day your eyes just suddenly open to something like that. I am looking forward to this summer, to having friends over to hang out, to going to see movies, to just LIVING LIFE.

Still looking forward to my weekend......

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Dear Diary Wednesday, part two...

Wow, I am so excited because I have a date tonight with this really, really hot woman I know...DEE!

Thanks for the dinner date!

Dear Diary Wednesday...

Class was a helluva lot of fun last night with Toni, especially afterwards when we started talking about the next class we want to take, which is pottery, and who we could get to reenact the scene from "Ghost" with Shane. We have a few people in mind....

Anyways, spending Tuesday evenings with Toni has made me appreciate certain attributes in the friends and family that I choose to surround myself with. The major attribute, and I see it in everyone that I know right now, is the ability to step up and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. Those that I have distanced myself from, especially the ones that I considered "friends" at work, are unable to rationally look at their life and see that the poor decisions that THEY have made that have hurt them and those around them, were THEIR decisions and not Fate playing them a bad hand. The things that they choose to say or do to others, is just that, a choice. They are not some type of martyr who are continually picked on by society or chance. I can't stand individuals (HUGE pet peeve) that are dishonest with themselves and others when it comes to the way that they act. Thank the Goddess for people like Toni and Dee who take FULL responsibility for everything that they do in their life and everything that comes out of their mouths....including when they apologize. I have learned much from those two ladies and respect them more and more as we grow old together. Can you tell that some of my co-workers have gotten on to my last nerve lately?????

Speaking of growing old.....I still have no idea what I want to do for my birthday this year, but I know I am going to try, REALLY TRY, not to be depressed and hate it. It has been hard for me the last couple of years not to view my b-day as a "bad" day. I am looking forward to time with good friends and some really GENTLE spankings, right Rob?????

Oh, Dad's eye appointment went well yesterday...he is having "polishing" surgery this Friday to remove the gray haze that has grown over both of his lenses from the cataract surgery. The doctor was shocked that he had had that growth so quickly, but said it is very common. After the surgery, my dad's eye sight should be phenomenal.

And can I just say how much I am looking forward to this weekend already???

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Dear Diary Tuesday again....

Toni reminded me today that my birthday is just around the corner! I need to decide what to do for my is the possibilities:

1. Get together at my house

2. Going to see "Cat Woman" and making Toni go along

3. Dinner with everyone

4. Wendover trip!


Dear Diary Tuesday morning...

Yesterday was a busy day at work. We have had the "Powers that Be" notify us that our call stats must be under 50 seconds as the average speed of answer, that they will no longer be able to make excuses for why we can't manage that, and if we are not capable of meeting that stat, they will start with warnings, write ups, and then terminations. Yeah, whatever. Anyways, the call volume for Monday is always crazy so I spent a great deal of my day on the phone and, in between calls, trying to do my normal duties. I am not complaining, I actually like being very, very busy. Plus, my attitude is upbeat again and I am full of positive energy. When you start removing clutter out of your life, your life will fall into order.

Speak of the clutter, that is what I did on Sunday night after planting the flower beds in my back yard, I removed the clutter from my clothes closet....two large bags full of clutter of clothes that I can no longer fit into and will never be going back to. It was nice to be able to look into my closet and see my clothes all hung straight, not shoved in and wrinkled. Now it will be start, the replacement of the clothes SHOPPING SPREE! YEAH! I am going to wait until August or September to do that, but I am totally looking forward to it.

Yesterday was also a wonderful day as I sent the most wonderful, loving, supportive e-mail I have ever received. A friend for a million years sent me a note, out of the blue, just let me know she loves me....I love those type of e-mails! Thank you again to that friend for all you have been too me for many, many years.

Oh and before I forget, poor Dylan had the FLU yesterday and ended up staying home in bed! He felt better last night, but he had a really bad day.

Ahh....on to another day at work. It should not be too bad today as I am leaving at 1:45 to go and pick the folks up for my Daddy's 3:00 pm appointment at the eye doctor. We are hoping he will have "clean up" eye surgery on Friday...keep your fingers crossed!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Dear Diary Sunday...

The weekend was wonderful, and it is not over yet. Dylan and I spent Friday together doing a little more house hunting, which was a total failure, and then went to see "Van Helsing" which is NOT in my top 100 favorite movies, then up to Wings and Things and Dylan is right, the food is wonderful. We then headed back to his house and started watching the marathon of the new season of South Park and called it an early evening, as he needed some sleep.

Saturday I went to my weight in and was THRILLED that I lost 3.4 pounds. That started the day off right! Then Dylan and I got together and went to our usual haunts, went to see the new Salt Lake City Library, had an early lunch at the Olive Garden, and returned to his house to watch more of the marathon. Wow, I had forgotten how nice it was just to sit in front of a tv and tune the world out! Thank you again to Dylan for rekindling my energy.

Today I am going to spend some time in the yard, and try to get my backyard planted....we will see what happens.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. All but the part where I was reminded again (because I can't be reminded often enough) how lousy of a friend and a human being I am. That it is my only intention as a friend, to hurt those that I surround myself. That regardless of what other in my life decide to do with their lives and their time, I am responsible for them as well. I am grateful for the reminder that I am a negative person, that I bring nothing to a friendship other than pain and chaos. Thank you for making me feel like dirt. Thank you for bringing me the pain that I needed to sit here and type out this statement with tears in my eyes. Thank you for reminding me that I have never done anything to help out any other friend. Thank you.

Well, out to the garden I go.