Dear Diary Friday...

To say that the last couple of days were hard days would be such an understatement. Let me start off with discussing the pregnancy issue at my work. As you probably recall, everybody at my work is getting pregnant and/or have had a baby. Well, one of my researchers, one of my older friends, found out that she is pregnant....with twins. Well, she had a doctor's appointment on Thursday....and miscarried. We were all big blubbering messes. She is doing fine, emotionally and physically, which made me feel better. She was out yesterday and today. That comes to the next part of the hard days. With her being out, we also had an additional 4 other folks out, which made the calls ridiculous. Couple that with me trying to take care of three people's jobs today, made it for a very long, hard day. However, my attitude was better. I have decided that instead of staying to myself, like I have been, I have to be friendly and out going.......being a quiet individual is just not me. However, I am still not expressing my opinions about work, unless they are asked for. But my opinions on everything else are going to be as loud and crass as before! The pitboss even noticed I was being more friendly and she said she really enjoyed it when I was being "nice" because my "pissy attitude makes the whole department act pissy." Good to know...maybe I will start using that in my plot to over throw my work.......

Note: keep the positive attitude about all of your life situations, keep the positivity flowing to those around you that deserve it, keep up your studying.

Dear Diary Tuesday....

It was a better day. Toni finally pushed me to the ground and stuck grass up my nose and pulled the huge stick out of my ass and I vented to her, and things are better. It is wonderful to have somebody that is so close to me, that loves me for all of my flaws, would punch anybody in the nose for me, and might even kick a puppy for me.....and loves me anyways. Thanks Toni for being such a great friend. Oh, and your boss can kiss my ass for not treating you the way you have proven you should be treated and deserve!

Work is still me coming in, sitting down, shutting up, doing my job, going home. It pretty much is driving everyone insane, but I am getting a lot accomplished. I am not being rude, I am being very pleasant and nice, but keeping everyone at a distance. I no longer feel the need to go above and beyond and kill myself for my job. I no longer feel the need to punish myself when EVERYTHING is not perfect or not accomplished. I do what I can do, I am proud of what I do, I go home.

Today was also the annual pap, or as I lovingly call it..."the annual poke and tickle." Unfortunately, this year....not much tickling. For some reason, and it gets kind of gross here......I am very "tight" and get more so when I am nervous. Soooo, when she finally did get me open to do the "tickle" part, it really scraped and now I am bleeding and very raw....and not so much in a good way. Because of that, I am kinda bitchy and did not go to the gym. Oh well. At least it is over for another year.

Thought for me.....keep up the positive channeling of energy. Keep channeling positive energy to those that need it and give it back.

Dear Diary Monday...

Today was a good day. I have a relatively new idea for work....go in, sit down, shut up, do your job, go home. Now, that might sound easy for some, but with somebody with as many opinions as I possess, it is damn near impossible. But I have discovered, from my very bad day last Wednesday, and shooting my mouth off, that if you say things, they will get back to the PitBoss before you have a chance to express them. Therefore, it is better to just keep your mouth shut. That way, you also won't mouth off and have a marketing rep tell you exactly what your job is and how you should be doing it. Yes, believe it or not, she actually walked away from me without my boot up her ass and my hand down her throat, grasping for her heart. I love my job, I just don't like people with ultra big mouths who take it upon themselves to express my opinions for me, and incorrectly on top of that. I don't like people who do not have have a large enough sack to come directly to me and ask me what my problem is, yet have no problem asking every other soul in the company what my problem is.

Speaking of issues, I have discovered I have a new pet peeve.....hypocrits. Okay, maybe it is not new, but I am seeing it a lot more in people lately. I have a hard time respecting people who allow others to come into their lives and cause chaos time and time again. I have a coworker who allows that with her husband/boyfriend. Call me insane, but why would you want the drama? I don't consider somebody who finds pure joy in childish drama, acts of pure evil, and insanity to be a candidate for my friendship. And call me a bitch, but I don't want to be friends with somebody that allows others to do that to them. I can't say I have not allowed it in my life, but I learn from my experiences. No friendship is worth that.

Another quirk of mine this week....closing myself off. I do that when I am feeling disconnected or in an quandry. I am the latter this week. I am making some fantastic changes in my life, very positive and happy ones, and I am not allowing any negativity in. So, if you are one of the individuals who feels I am "pulling away" from you, be patient with me. I am a work in progress and sometimes, there are potholes. I am having a "pot hole" kind of week.

Thought for me: keep up the great work on keeping yourself focused. Keep a positive attitude, as you draw that to you. Continue to NOT allow chaos into your life.

Dear Diary Sunday...


Okay, "8 Mile" was an okay movie. The other movie was "Secretary" and if you enjoy the movies where James Spader plays some kind of freak, you will enjoy it.

Yesterday was again, a wonderful day with Dylan. We went to the Gateway, Trolley Square, Yuppie Puppie (which has moved to 900 South 900 East), the new Costco, tried Baja Fresh (was good food, but no better than Rubios), and then back to his house to watch the two movies. We were supposeto go to a wedding, but it was just so hard to take the time we were having and go do something that Dylan absolutely dislikes. It was not the people, as he adores the couple, it was just that he does not like weddings. We were also suppose to go to a Graduation party, but we did not make it to that either. We did manage to make it back to my house to get my wrist support as I klutzed it right on 900 South and 900 East by not watching where my feet were walking and managed to land right on the same wrist I have already broke! Good times!!!

Today has been eventful. The little gal across the street who had the Graduation Party had somebody go into her bedroom, go through all of her stuff, find all of the graduation cards that had money, and steal them. They have had the police over to the house all day and I have been there, off and on, trying to console her. She is the sweetest and most gentle young lady I have ever met and to have somebody do that to her on her day is just infuriating. Then the main pipe in our house, the one that all of the drain water goes into, has a crack. Soooo, thankfully, my brother's friend is a plumber and he came over and put a temporary fix on it and then will be back in a week or two and have to repair the whole thing. My cat that ran away is back, and back under the shed. She looks okay, but you can tell she is very scared and very pissed. I am going to try and wait her out and see if she gets so hungry she will come back into the house.

Other than that, the day has been wonderful. All of the graduations and barbecues are over with and I have been able to relax and take it easy. There is nothing I enjoy more than actually being able to have a nap during one of my days off. That is pretty trivial, but I love a one hour nap.

Oh, and today is Pride Day, and I decided not to attend. However, remember, our love and celebration and support of friends and family that are bisexual/lesbian/homosexual should be praised, honored, and supported each and every day.....not just celebrated on one.