Dear Diary Friday....


WOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOO! My last work day of the week and I won't be back for over a week! WOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!!
Yep, I'm excited.

Last night was not such a good night for my attitude. I made an appointment to have a specialist take a look at my knee and when I got home I just kinda fell into a depression. I am tired of my knee hurting, I am tired of not being able to go to the gym because my knee hurts, I am tired of going to the gym and my knee hurting so bad that I can't do what I want. I AM TIRED OF MY DAMN KNEE! It has gotten to the point that kneeling down to do things like weeding, scrubbing, stuff like that is excrutiating. I can't stand it. I have done a bit of research and it does sound like I have a Baker's Cyst, but even if I have something else, most are stating that I will be on crutches...which will be amusing since I am not the most coordinated person in the world. And I want to be a bit "better" before Maui. So, I got home, was depressed and pissy and did NOTHING. I took a bubble bath, crawled into bed, read my book....did NOTHING. Yep, I was a BUNCH of fun last night. So tonight, we are going to make up for it by taking our Helga over to the vet and having her nails trimmed then dropping her off at home and Dylan and I going out to dinner. And tomorrow I am going to take my Mom out to do some "fun" shopping, as well as getting her grocery shopping done. Then I am going to bust my butt and get some things done around the house that need to be done before we leave on Sunday.

Oh, I can't believe how excited I am to be going to Vegas! I think it is due to the fact that our last trip was so incredibly shitty that we want to "make-up" for that one by having an extra good time at this one.

Dear Diary Thursday....

Only two more days at work, only two more days at work, only two more days at work.... this will be my mantra today, giving me something to live for.

In other news, I got great news last night. My cousin who has esophageal cancer and who had decided to let the cancer take him, met with his oncologist AND THE TUMOR HAS SHRUNK! They have decided to remove his esophagus, pull his stomach up and re-attach it to "create" a new esophagus and he will be able to eat and have a normal life...YEAH!! Any bit of news like that, some glimmer of hope, renews my Daddy's view on the world...and makes me a happy girl.

Also yesterday, I found out that I will be interviewed for our "newspaper" that goes out to all of the divisions of my company....nationally and internationally. I turned it down the first time but got pushback from my boss because it will make our division "look good"....so I am going to take 20 minutes out of my day and just do it.

On not such a good note, my goat-demon dog Coal decided to rip off part of our fence....while Dylan was watching! Yep, he decided to argue with the dog next door, grabbed a hug hunk of the fence and RIP...no more piece of that fence! Thankfully my Daddy came over to my house while I was at work and fixed it and it all looks pretty and new...and if that little dog tries to start anything, I am going to hit it with a brick!!

Only two more days of work, only two more days of work, only two more days of work.....

Dear Diary Tuesday...

Yesterday ended on a very odd note. I left work and headed home to change, grab my Mom, and head to the gym. That did not happen. When I got home, Dylan was in the shape of a deformed "S" and could not stand up straight for all the money in the world. We called and made an emergency appointment with the chiropractor and headed over there. Fortunately they were able to get him in rather early and get him taken care of. I actually felt bad for the doctor as he can normally "pop" Dylan's back a number of times but this time he only got one good "pop" from stretching his leg out. Thankfully Dylan feels much better.

We then headed home and I had a discussion with my Mom. I called her yesterday from work and could tell from her voice that something was very, very wrong but she did not want to talk about it then. Come to find out, it was just "shit news" day all the way around. My one cousin, Sharon, was sent home from the hospital on Thursday...to die. Now, this is totally expected and I honestly thought she was going to pass in the hospital. The crap news.....in her final moments she has asked my folks to come over so she can say "good-bye". Now, my folks are not handling this well because, for one thing, Sharon is not very coherent right now, if at all. Secondly, my Dad does not deal with death any better than I do and will spiral into a horrible depression. Three, my Mom does not handle "good-byes" well and if it involves death, that makes it worse. And finally, who wants their final memories of a person to be that individual suffering. We will see what happens.

Then she informed me that my Dad's other nephew, who was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, has been in so much pain that he is back at the VA....and it is not the chemo/radiation that are making him hurt, it is the actual cancer. SOOOOO, he has informed his wife and family that he is just going to stop the chemo and die. No discussion, no listening to his options with his doctors, nothing....just going to die. Well, that is not a very acceptable thing in my family and we are hoping that today, he will meet with his Oncologist and see what options he has. Now, if his options are a poor quality of life and to be in pain, then live your final moments to the best of your ability, make your peace, and pass quietly and not in pain....I respect that. But if your options are that it is a cancer that they can operate on AND you will have a great quality of life....than by Gawd FUCKING DO IT!

And THEN we got news from my Dad's OTHER nephew that the urological stint that they put in because of his cancer is not working and he is undergoing surgery this week to be placed on a bag. He has also opted for another round of double dose chemo/radiation and it is making him very, very sick....and the outcome does not look good.

So, all in all, it was a very depressing day for my folks and I got to clean up the "aftermath" of that. Lots of hugs, lots of talking, lots of letting them get it out of their system and we will be moving on to the next day. Pray for strength.....

Dear Diary Monday....

It was an AWESOME weekend....and it started out with leaving work early on Friday. I got out of work at noon on Friday and headed home to meet up with Dylan. He could not fall asleep after work, so we got going and did some window shopping and then met up with Toni and Rob for a celebatory dinner at the Wingcoop. It was very low key and Rob and Toni were great company and OHMYGAWD the wings were spicy!!! Oh, and they were in love with Toni so they kept bringing her more and more wings.

Saturday, I got up and took my Mom grocery shopping. Now, keep in mind it has probably been three weeks since we did any MAJOR shopping and so after Costco and Petsmart, my car was FULL! We headed back home to put things away and then I headed to my house to help out with cleaning. Dylan had started the hardest part, vacuuming the carpets and all the furniture, so I pitched in and started the scrubbing and dusting of each and every room. By about 2:00, I was exhausted AND not feeling well. I took a bit of a nap, we finished up, and Dylan headed off to a concert and I just relaxed...me and my headache and my upset stomach.

Sunday was the SHOPPING DAY! We bought me new clothes for Vegas and Maui, went and got all of our Wal-Mart, Costco, and Petsmart shopping done...did a bunch more window shopping....and just enjoyed ourselves. Unfortunately, I will still a bit sick on Sunday but Dylan took very good care of me. OH, and I ran into Tonster at The Fashion Bug and she scared the crap out of me and I almost punched her in the nose!!

So, I have only this week and then I am off a week from work....and I can tell I have already mentally checked out. Help me get through this week, Allah!