Saturday, April 19, 2003

Dear Diary Saturday...

Let me start by telling you, Diary, the Friday could not have been a better day! I kicked ass at work, left at 11:00, grabbed a 30 minute cat nap, jumped in the shower and spent extra time making myself look adorable, and then Dylan and I spent the entire rest of the day and evening together! We window shopped, went to a fantastic dinner, did some more window shopping, then went back to his house and worried about who had kidnapped his mother! It was one of the best days I have spent with him in a long time.....a day that we finally started to connect and exchange a lot of that was much needed after a couple of months of depleted energy.

Today has been busy. I did lots and lots of laundry, scrubbed down both bathrooms, cleaned up my room, cleaned up my hamster's abode, started the ham for Easter dinner marinading, and baked a scrumptious orange chiffon cake. I am exhausted but I accomplished a lot, which makes me happy. I needed a lot of this cleaning to clear up some issues in my of them being my own stupidity and naievete. AGAIN, I went against all of my instincts to try and help out a bad situation.....a situation that my nose should have never stuck itself into.....a situation that did not involve me in anyway, yet I choose to become brought into it. I guess I am a true sucker when it comes to friendships, why, I don't know since I have been burned so many times by friendships. YET, I still put my hand to the flame. This time, though, something clicked. Something deep down in the dark recesses of my animal spirit, the cry of anger was heard. Not sure exactly where this is going to take me, but since I have also chosen to be as honest and truthful with others as I am with myself, to be as hard on others as I am with myself, to expect out of others in my life, only what I expect out of could be frightening for all involved, that includes me. Then again, I could just say Fuck It and brush it under the carpet....but that would probably not be as much fun.


Thursday, April 17, 2003

Dear Diary Thursday...

Yes, it is Thursday, Yes I am at work, Yes I am not in a good mood.

Shane and Chet, thank you so much for the gift. I have not had a chance to open it yet, but I know I will love it as much as I love the both of you!!! It was a nice surprise this morning.

Things to get off of my chest:
1) If you have an issue with me being friends with somebody, if you have the desire to bad mouth this person that I am friends with, go to hell. I love my friends for all of their many attributes, that also includes if they are being naieve or stupid. Have we not all been there sometime in our life?

2) I can't do everything. I honestly have tried and have succeded in exhausting myself and/or making myself ill. That is going to slow down.

3) I have decided I love Spring, but I still hate Easter.

4) No matter how you make them, enchiladas are still good.

5) AGAIN, I hate mornings, don't come and talk to me. Holy FUCK people!

6) I really don't care if your child likes/adores me. They are still your child and still A child which means I HATE THEM. Keep them away from me, off of my lap, out of my fucking hair! Unless you are my perfect great niece, and then you are allowed to do anything.....

7) To people who I have ALLOWED into my life, who have turned out to be liars, who have turned out to have hidden agendas, who turned out to be negative influences, who came into my life for only the reason of destroying other relationships.....I wish you the very the fiery pits of hell. When we meet on the other side or in the next life, I will kick your ass there, as well.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Dear Diary Tuesday...

Well, today was almost as exciting as yesterday. I got into work at 6:00, left at 10:00 to go all the way back home and pick up the folks, drive them to my dad's follow up appointment, which went very well and they took off his bandages, took them back home and then drove back UP to work to finish out my day. Thank the Goddess for Toni who was a sweetheart and went and got me some lunch....not that I couldn't afford not to skip a few meals! As for the doctor's appointment, like I said, they took off his bandage and said his eye looks great....the big test will be my dad having to physically stare down at the floor and sleep on his stomach for 7 days so that the bubble will stay at the top of his eye and heal the hole. I almost started to cry when they took the bandage off because his eye is pure red from the blood and it looks like somebody punched him. The other downside is that now that there is no bandage, he is starting to feel a little discomfort. Fortunately, we can start with Tylenol and if it gets worse, we move to far the Tylenol has been enough.

Work was crazy and the biggest reason is because my supervisor FINALLY went out on maternity leave today. She has not had the baby yet, but we all have our fingers crossed it will be VERY her due date was on the 12th! So, with her being out, people suddenly become ill and need to leave, they stop thinking for themselves, you name it. However, I answered everything with a smile, had a few good laughs, and just took it all in stride. How is that possible, you ask? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that I have had a really tight chest and back for the last two weeks. Enough of a pain that I actually came home and considered going to the ER. I took a Benadryl, as I think it has a lot to do with my allergies, and a couple of Ibuprofens, as I think it also has to do with the way that I some times hunch over in my desk when I am feeling the weight of the world on me. I am going to try a couple of different things for a couple of more soda or tea.....and see if that helps as well. If not, time to go see a doctor!!!!

Monday, April 14, 2003

Dear Diary Monday...

The surgery went very well for my dad. We got there at 6:45 this morning, they wheeled him into surgery at 9:00 and that is when we found out that surgery was 2 1/2 hours long! So, my mom was a nervous wreck, so I made her go shopping with me for a little while, and when we got back at 10:30, the doctor was meeting us at the door. Apparently, the surgery went a lot faster and by the time we got down to recovery, my dad was waiting for us. The anesthesia that they gave him was very gentle and he awoke quickly. We were home by 11:15 and he has been doing fantastic ever since! He has ate, drank, slept, everything. The downside to the surgery is he has to keep his eyes down, staring at the floor, for 7 days. If he looks up, that reduces his chances for the surgery to work. He also has to sleep on him stomach, which is something he is not looking forward to, but something that he can handle. For hell's sake, he is a Newsome after all! The rest of the day I spent running to the store and taking care of him. Oh, I did grab an hour nap since I only slept two hours last night, and I am even more tired now!

The rest of the week will be spent taking care of my father, and HOPEFULLY, spending Friday with Dylan. Oh, and Sunday being Easter, I am trying to decide if I am going to cook a huge meal or not. It will depend on whether my mom and dad will feel up to something like that.

Back to taking care of daddy.....