Friday, May 14, 2004

Dear Diary Friday...


Oh, sweet day off from work! And after yesterday, it is well needed. Let's start off with the fact that the person at my job who has been driving me TOTALLY insane with daily questions and harassments of "when are you going to buy a house" finally got the verbal altercation she had been looking for. I will just sum it up with the fact that it ended with me saying, "I am not sure why YOU are so obsessed with when Dylan and I are going to buy a house, but I am starting to find it a little irritating AND creepy." No more comments after that. I really don't mind when people in my life (i.e. MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY) are curious about Dylan and mine's house hunting escapades but when you WORK WITH ME and harass me every day about will get an ear full.

After a helacious day at work that was only made tolerable by Toni and Connie, I went and got my hair done. Nothing out of the ordinary, just color and a trim, as I am trying to grow it out. HOWEVER, I am having issues with growing it out so it might all get chopped off next time....and my beautician is REALLY excited about that prospect, which makes me start to think....

Anyways, after that Dylan and I met up with Jeffy, Chet and Shane, and Toni and Rob at the Rodizio for a celebration of Chet and Dylan's birthday. The conversation was wonderful, the company was PHENOMENAL and nothing is better than watching Dylan in a silly hat being sung to a song we have no idea what they are saying. After dinner, we all walked around Trolley Square. A few of us went to Williams and Sonoma, the other half went to Sharper Image. I knew that there was trouble when I saw "the other halfs" all come walking into Williams and Sonoma with bright red faces, walking quickly, and laughing. Apparently my Jeffy decided that the display model of the nose hair trimmer would be a good idea to the store, in front of people, with my man egging him on(like he needed to be egged on). Only my Jeffy! By the way gang, thank you again for coming to the dinner and entertainment last was a special evening and I enjoyed every moment and every word I had with all of you.

The rest of the weekend is going to be my time with Dylan, hanging out, just being together.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Dear Diary Thursday...

The folks are still fighting off their bronchitis and their antibiotics are making their sking "feel weird". Don't ask, I don't have a clue. However, I can tell that Daddy is doing much, much better but my mom is staying the same. She is holding on to the part where it is hard to catch your breath after you move. I bought her a bronchial asthma inhaler yesterday and we will see how that works.

Tomorrow is the big day....Dylan's 34th Birthday! I am looking forward to spending two days with him, going to see movies, feeding the ducks, going to our haunts, and just being together. Remember to wish him a happy birthday!

I am doing much better today in regards to my attitude and my energy. I knew venting yesterday would help but I also had a really nice talk with Dylan and let out everything that has been bothering me lately. It is so wonderful to have such a strong shoulder and attentive ear as what he gives judgement, no taking it personal, not believing that everything and anything I have to say is all about him and the feedback is always perfect. Thank you again Dylan for letting me rant. I also believe that because I have been in a "funk" the last week, I am drawing to me people who are negative....I take that responsibility. Therefore, with my energy being up and my attitude being positive, hopefully it will help others around me to be positive or to go away. And one of the other things I have noticed is that I am "biting my tongue" around people....that will come to an end. I have prided myself on being honest and blunt, saying whatever I want about whomever I want because there is nothing I would say in mixed company that I would not say one on one. If people are offended or hurt by what I say, too bad.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Dear Diary Wednesday...

I wish I could say something as quip as "I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed" but that would be a lie. I am very hurt and very pissed and it has been eating at me and I have found that the best way to deal with those emotions is just to express them. So here goes the rant....

1) I will not apologize for my friendships and for who my friends are. I have a very eclectic group of people in my life that I love dearly, and I love them for their individuality. If somebody has a problem with who my friend is, that is just too bad. I do not force my friends to be anything other than they are, individuals and I expect my friends to treat me with the same respect. If you seem to have a problem with somebody that I have in my life, maybe YOU should remove yourself from mine.

2) I was really hoping that somewhere along the line I would begin to enjoy purchasing a home, but I hate it. I hate it because the pressure from everyone else. Everybody else seems to have a "time frame" for when Dylan and I should be buying. It does not seem to be soon enough for "everyone else". Therefore, I don't think I will be discussing my "home buying" matters with individuals that are in the genre anymore. How about just being supportive that we are making this huge step?

3) Still, too this day, I am NOT a morning person. I don't hide that fact, I don't try to act like I am. Therefore, for the love of GAWD, please do not think that calling me early in the morning you are going to get Sally Sunshine on the phone!

4) Honestly, I really "do not know ALL" and am not able to tell you the thoughts and feelings of everybody in my life. If you want to know somebody is acting the way they are acting...GO AND ASK THEM! If you want to know why some individual does not call your or e-mail you....CALL AND ASK THEM! I do not claim to be able to read minds, please QUIT EXPECTING IT. And if somebody has told me something in confidence, I am not going to share it with anyone else!!!! DO NOT ASK!

Okay, I knew that would make me feel better......

Monday, May 10, 2004

Dear Diary Monday...

The folks went to the doctor today and AGAIN they have bronchitis. Their doctor informed them that they both have "chronic lung disease" which is the nice way of saying that they both are going to be very susceptible to lung infections, bronchitis, and pneumonia. They are now on antibiotics and are exhausted. I came home and made a big steak dinner for my dad, myself, and brother and made mom a huge tunafish sandwich. We had green beans with onions and garlic, a salad with artichoke hearts and pickled beets. Hopefully with them both eating pretty healthy for this next week, I can get them over this quickly.

Work was great today and busy. I found out that last Friday I took 91 calls, the second highest, but the other person took 98 calls in 9 hours and I too 91 calls in 3 hours...go figure. To say that my supervisor was happy with what I accomplished but very upset with the lack of call taking by others was evident by her going around to people all day long to make sure that they were on a call at all times. Yeah, I was amused.

And I had a moment of clarity today that I did not really enjoy. I was talking with someone that I have known for a number of years today when I discovered, and this is not new or anything, that basically everything that comes out of his person's mouth is just total negativity and it bothered me. I once had a person tell me that I was full of "anger and hate" and I have tried ever since then to stop being so negative....I just don't think that this other individual would be as capable of making the same change as they seem to really enjoy being negative all the time. It was at the point that I really just wanted to walk away, in the middle of the conversation, because it was sucking away all of my energy. I am not sure how I am going to proceed with this relationship, but I know something has to change with it.