Friday, April 16, 2004

Dear Diary Friday...

I went home in a very unhappy mood yesterday....created alone by myself. I came in to work yesterday in a pretty reasonable mood and within two hours I watched somebody stab me in the back and talk about me "behind my back". To say that my personal attitude plummeted into the hole would be a true understatement. I have been fighting this week, some very tough personal battles with my view on myself and allowing that to bother me did not help. By the time I got home I was so depressed that I took a bubble bath, curled up in my bed, read a book, and fell asleep by 7:30. The whole "going to bed early" thing does not happen as often as it use to because of the amount of energy that I have, but being as depressed as I was yesterday just zapped all of that energy. Thankfully, I think it is back today.

I came into work today in peaceful silence. I was the only one in the building for a full 35 minutes. A few people have started coming in, but it is still nice and quiet. I have already completed many tasks this morning and feel that the day is going to go much better.

This weekend has some great plans. Tonight, Dylan and I are going to do the whole "dinner and a movie" date thing. Tomorrow we are spending the whole day together, probably doing a lot of window shopping and hitting our usual haunts. Sunday is all mine, to do nothing with, and I am looking forward to that.

Note to self: If others are not concerned about your happiness or friendship, stop extending the energy to them. Treat them better than they treat you, but do not offer the branch of friendship. Those that are concerned about your happiness and well being are your friends.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Dear Diary Wednesday...

Well, somebody took the wind out of my sails and in a good way. I had every intention of coming in this morning to work and having a conversation with my boss, basically letting her know how very unhappy and how unappreciated I am and that I am tired of being treated like a piss-on.....but then I sat down at my desk and saw a gift of bubbles, some candy, and a really nice note letting me know that somebody appreciates all the work I have done this week and all the stress I have endured. I have no idea who did it, but it warmed my glacial heart. I know I am still a piss-on, but somebody apparently has seen the stress that I am under and feels my pain....that meant a lot to me. I am still going to be having a talk with my boss today, but it will not be filled with as much piss and vinegar as I had planned.

Other than that, I came in with another headache. By the feel of it, it is going to blossom into something big by the end of the day. REGARDLESS, I am still going to the gym because I discovered something last night....I have skin hanging off my arms and it is VERY unattractive and I need to be working on my arms and getting that skin tightened up. I want to get cosmetic surgery, but not on my ARMS dammit!

Monday, April 12, 2004

Dear Diary Tuesday again...

Today started out very wonderful. I got to work at my usual time, accomplished a great deal this morning, and then the PitBoss took it upon herself to ruin the entire day and my mood....and I allowed it. She yelled, and yes I mean YELLED at me twice because calls were holding. Nevermind that people who are suppose to be on the phone were wandering, nevermind that she never yells at any of the other Research Specialists to be on the phone, only me. One of the times that she yelled, somebody had to actually ask her to quiet down so that they could here their embarrassing is that!!! Now it is not like I was sitting around doing zero work....the second time she yelled at me I was on LUNCH! The first time she yelled, I was on a PHONE CALL. Yeah, my day at work was great. But the best part of it was seeing the 15 people in her office all sitting around talking about plants because SHE IS SELLING PLANTS AT THE OFFICE!! Yeah, apparently it is okay to fuck around when you are the Pitboss but if you are working your ass of more than anyone else, you better be trying harder. Help me figure out the logic, please...? And what is the most aggravating is that I was so upset and angry that I actually started to tear up! I hate that more than I could ever express. Things have to change, have to give, I am just not sure what direction I am going to go with this.

Dear Diary Tuesday....

Does this one make you laugh, Constance?

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Sunday, April 11, 2004

Dear Diary Sunday...


Now, lets catch up. Friday I left work at about 10:30 and came home to plant two more bushes and one more tree. My daddy and I then decided to tie up the big bushes in the backyard and then trim those and then both the folks and I pruned the Rose of Sharon bushes on the side of the house....we managed to be completely finished by 7:00 pm...that was a long day!

Saturday Dylan and I got together and went to see "HellBoy", which was a great movie! We then went to dinner at the Olive Garden and then proceeded to go and look at a BUNCH of model homes. We have two that we are interested in at this time, and that is all I will be saying.

Today, I took the folks out to breakfast and then we WERE going to go shopping but apparently, NOTHING is open until noon on Sunday anymore! When I got up this morning, I had a very naggy headache, and by the time we discovered that NOTHING is open until noon, it had turned into a massive migraine. I have been living between the couch and my bed all day. It is still there, but I think the worst is over.

Oh, and I forgot to add my story about Saturday night! After Dylan dropped me off, I headed to my bed to read for an hour. Unfortunately, the Polynesian couple across the street started screaming at each other so loudly that I actually got up to see what the fuck was going on. Well, the front door was wide open and I could see him with his hands around her neck, pulling her down into the basement. So, I call 911 and told them the situation. I then saw him run to the van, jump in, and take off. So, the 911 operator said that they would have officers out as soon as possible, but to call back immediately if I saw him come back. About 7 minute later, he pulls up in the driveway, so I call 911 back and this time I got the funniest operator ever! I told him the situation, what was going on, and keep in mind that by this time, he was back in the van and she was holding on to the door and he had not left, and in the midst of describing as best I could a description of what he was wearing and the van, I asked the Operator if officers were on the way, to which he responded with, "I wish I could say I did have officers en route but it is "Beat Your Wife Night in West Valley" which made me laugh loudly! Right then, the dipshit throws his van into reverse and pulls out and SHE IS STILL HANGING ON! He drives away, she finally lets go and goes into the house, and ALL OF THIS IN FRONT OF THE KIDS! The cops finally got there about 1 minute afterwards, and of course, nothing happened because she is too much of a piece of shit to press charges!! And I think he managed, when pulling out of his driveway like a completely lunatic, to probably roll one of my cats! Abbey is okay, but she has a cut ear and has lost most of the hair on the front of her legs. Odd, she never leaves the yard, so that should tell you how far onto our property he came while backing out. Too bad he didn't hit my vehicle, then I could have had some fun! As for now, I have been just waiting until I see him come home, oh, and he did come home last night, so that I can have a little "talk" with both of them.....

And I just talked to Kjori about the cats from The House. Good news is that Bob the demon cat has been adopted by a Salt Lake City judge who takes in cats with disabilities (he currently has 14). Capulet, the white cat that made me cry, has learned to use a litterbox and is gettting groomed on Tuesday and will be at the Luv-A-Pet center at Petsmart on 2100 south and 300 west. Bad news is that Scaredy, the last one we caught, had to be euthanized on Saturday. She quit eating and drinking water AND going potty all together and her kidneys completely failed and she had bleeding ulcers in the mouth. The vet is not sure what happened with her, if she had a reaction to the anesthesia or one of her shots, but she was so wild that to actually get a hold of her in the cage, they had to net her. She will always have a special place in my heart for that child was born into that Hell and managed to live in it, thrive in it, conceive new life in it, and keep out our traps right up to the very end. Scaredy took what she had and made a life out of it and lived it to the fullest with what she had. She has given me more reason and more courage to continue my fight for other animals.