Dear Diary Wednesday....

I woke up more exhausted than when I went to bad...I hate that.

After our Weight Watchers weight in (we changed the days we go) and dinner, Dylan was off agai to work last night. He has tonight, and then he is OFF for a few days, and then starts the OT again on Sunday. I managed to get just a couple of things done around the house and then went to bed....but really couldn't sleep very well as I had my cousin on my mind all night. Her husband is going to have to make a decision about her pretty soon and it comes down to two choices. The first choice is that they can put in a feeding tube and she will receive TPN feedings. She will NEVER eat again, as the Chrones disease has made her stomach brittle and food would only cause perforations and eventually kill her. This means she will no longer be able to travel and the most she could do is go to the store. That is is if she is able to travel AT ALL because her intestines and colon are still full of holes, even though some of them seem to be repairing themselves...but not quickly. The second option is for them to "let her go". This will involve her, basically, poisoning to death from her own toxins that are being released into her body from all the holes. My cousin is just beside himself as to what to do and, unfortunately, he is going to have to make this decision himself...it is his wife and he knows her best. Everyone has been really good to keep their opinions to themselves but he is struggling. The most I could tell him is whatever he decides to do, will be the best option and she, and the rest of the family, will love them both no matter what they decide. He is going to ask the doctor to bring her completely out of sedation and off the painkillers today to talk with her about these options. All I could think of was "I hope I am never in that position that I have to make the choice of life or death for somebody I know..." but I know I probably will. She is struggling, she is fighting, she has good moments and bad moments....but her life will never be what it was. Now, that is not to say she won't have a good life, but will it be what it was prior to this? Fuck no! Gawd, what an awful position for a loved one to be in.

On a brighter note, I am really looking forward to my time off with Dylan. We are gonna have a "date night" and see a movie and have dinner together and then just enjoy our entire weekend of being together. Hopefully we will have an opportunity to meet up with some friends, but we will see what happens.

Thing to make me smile this morning: Little Evil wanting to sit on my lap after my shower this morning and just be held and kissed and loved...made me feel a bit special that she is FINALLY starting to warm up. And then she followed me around the house all morning.

Thing that did not make me smile this morning: Knowing my stupid sprinklers are not completely fixed AND IT IS MY FAULT! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!

See Toni! It's FATE....

You Should Drive a Corvette

You don't just like to drive on the road, you like to own it. You live to intimidate other drivers with your car's muscle power!

What Sports Car Should You Drive?

How true is this!

You Were A Lion

You have a lethal combination of strength and energy. You have strong family ties, and close friends are like family to you.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Dear Diary Tuesday....

Oh, yesterday was a llllooooonnnnngggg day!

I had a meeting from 11:30 until 3:00 and then I had a nail appointment that also turned into a hair appointment. By the time I got home, I got to see Dylan for about 5 minutes TOTAL before he was off to work. I then did some yardwork, a little bit of housework, and talked to some family on the phone.

And then this morning....

Dylan called me at about 2:50 am to let me know he was coming home to get his migraine medicine and didn't want to scare me. He came in, took his migraine medicine, and then flew back out the door and headed back to work. At about 4:15 this morning, he came back home, and just about killed himself getting to the bathroom to heave up everything he had eaten for the last four years. Apparently he has hit "the wall" when it comes to exhaustion from all of this overtime. He was in bed and sound asleep by 4:45 and I am hoping he will sleep straight through until I get home. My poor guy!!! And he is not giving up either...he is going into work tonight for MORE OVERTIME!!!!

Good news is that I am taking a half day off on Thursday and all of Friday. I am not sure what we have planned, but anytime we get to spend with each other will be good.

Favorite thing this morning: Knowing I don't have many chores to come home and do tonight.

Not so favorite thing this morning: half-eaten snail on the porch, thanks to Coal.

And another truth...

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common. You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude. However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

How true, how true....

Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Dear Diary Monday....

Friday Dylan and I spent the evening (well, what we had of an evening) getting Father's Day gifts and going to dinner. After that, he was off to work for more OT.

Saturday, we got some bad news about my cousin so we headed to the new hospital she is at to be with her and the family. I got a moment to speak with her, hold her hand, and just spend some time. After that, the folks and I headed to do some shopping at Barnes and Nobles, Costco, Wild Oats, and then home. As soon as Dylan woke up, we did some Wal-mart shopping, had dinner, and then headed home so he could get some rest before heading into work.

Sunday was Father's Day so I spent the morning with my Daddy and then proceeded to do yardwork. I also took Coal to get groomed and he looks and SMELLS pretty now! After doing some odds and ends around the house, I made dinner for Dylan and then he headed off to work early for more OT. I got a few more things done around the house and then went to bed.

This week is going to be a bit "hit and miss" for me as I am taking Friday off form work to spend time with Dylan, hopefully leaving early on Thursday....but everything will depend on how my cousin does this week. I also might have a funeral to attend this week for another cousin that passed away unexpectedly, but I will leave that up to my folks if we go or not. And, possibly, this might be the last week of Dylan doing lots and lots of OT....but we will see!

Favorite thing of the morning: waking up and having everything in my kitchen in order
Not favorite thing of the morning: Coal bringing me a "present" of a squishy dead bird baby....squishy from him chomping on it!