Dear Diary Thursday...

Yesterday ranks as one of the worst days ever. I found out that the largest company that do business with here at work, the company that I am Team Lead over and helped do marketing for, the company that I have given blood, sweat, and tears for for now over a year, is gone. Just like that. Poof. The Mother company over the, the Government, has decided to move everything over to a fully insured company due to the crooked aspects of one man that a " group within a group" managed to get him removed from the dealings and, we had hoped, made out chances of keeping this company for another year stronger. Didn't happen. Needless to say, we will more than likely be having lay-offs on Monday so I got to spend some of my day helping "rank" employees that we need to keep and who we need to let go, if it comes to that. The problem is is that I can't view people as just "numbers"...I know who they are, some are friends, I know their life and their joys and what makes them sad. I know who is pregnant, who has children, who is a single parent, who has struggles. And I get to help determine who has a job after Monday....and that includes myself as well. My boss needs to decide between me and the customer service supervisor who has been out for three months and will be out another three months for knee replacement....and I don't envy her decision at all. All I am hoping for right now is that I get a call telling me I am being offered an opportunity some where else.

So, I cried all the way home from work yesterday, stopped at my folks house and cried for awhile there while explaining things to them, went home and cried to Dylan, and then over medicated myself and fell into a drug induced, tossing and turning sleep....but at least it was sleep.

I plan on doing everything I can to not spend anymore the next week, just in case it does come down that I don't have a job. However, I do have a large reserve of alcohol and plan on drinking a large quantity over the weekend, so don't be surprised if you get a drunk phone call telling you how much I love you......

Dear Diary Tuesday...

Ahhh....blessed sleep came last night and I only woke up three times....each time managing to put my head back down and fall back to sleep. I am not sure why my mind and body finally allowed me the rest, but I am so grateful for it. Maybe it was because I came home, went to the gym, went over to my folks and my Dad and I went for a walk, headed home to work for two hours, took a wonderful bath in hot, hot water and baking soda, and then finally crashed.....or maybe it was just being generous and allowing me rest after being up for two weeks. The downside is, and this is not a complaint, is that I am tired this morning.

I had my phone interview yesterday and I felt it went really good. I won't hear anything until later this week and even if I don't get it, I know that the Goddess still has my best interest in mind and will bring something better along. However, the idea of doing less work for more money....at least doing something DIFFERENT than I have been doing, is intriguing. Especially since I am now having to bring work home and STILL can't seem to get caught up.

Toni's doctors appointment is today and they better give her something to help her walk as she can barely put weight down on her foot. She needs a brace, a big splint, a huge stick shoved up her ass....something to help her out because she is just absolutely miserable!!! Big hugs to her and I hope that this doctor will help her out.

Dear Diary Sunday...

Ahhhh....sitting in my office on a Sunday...the most I have completed today has been doing some laundry and the rest of the time napping, watching TV, just totally relaxing. I felt useless and in need of laziness and took advantage of it. Unfortunately, I now have a headache, but I will live.

Friday started off with Dylan and I getting pulled over by a very handsome West Valley Police Officer because we had managed to forget to put our new '06 tags on the license plate....since October. He was nice and we put the tag on and took off. We headed to The Original House of Pancakes on 700 East and had a wonderful breakfast and I spent part of the time on the phone with my Gay Husband, Shane, who is STILL suffering from probably the very worst sinus infection that I have ever heard of. After wondeful breakfast and awesome cell phone conversation, Dylan and I headed out to see the new Underworld, that we both enjoyed. We then did a lot of shoppng, looking at stores we haven't been into for awhile, and then picked up a later dinner and headed home. It was nice. Saturday I spent the day over at the folks house. I gave my Dad a shower, we went on a really long walk (long for him, not for me) and then I gave my Mom a haircut and a perm....both turned out awesome. I then headed home and made pulled barbecued beef sandwiches and homemade guacamole and chips for Dylan and I. It was a great day to connect with everyone and get quite a few things done.

I am not really sure what is on my agenda this week, but I hope a phone interview is part of it since my interview on Thursday was cancelled due to the interviewer getting horribly sick. However, if that is not in the cards, then so be it. I know that Fate and the Goddess both have my very best interest in mind and if there is to be something better for me down the line, then patient I will be.

Big love out to Toni and a "good luck" on her doctor's appointment yesterday. I am glad she is deciding on a second opinion to her leg. And as always, just a big amount of love and energy to Shane...