Dear Diary Thursday....

I missed out on blogging yesterday. I have not been sleeping well, so I came home from work, did a little shopping, and then collapsed in bed at around 7:30 with a tummy having issues. Issues due to the fact that the lazy ass jeep rollin' whore that works with me came in and, are you read for this, spewed vomit chunks all morning into her garbage can until I flipped out and yelled at my boss, "Either send her the fuck home or send me THE FUCK HOME!" Finally, they sent her home!!! Long story short, she could not leave work without them sending her home or she would have been fired.

Okay, catching you up on today. The same dumb ass chic has had her husband stalking her (the clinical stalking and not the "other" kind of stalking that some of us like to joke about he he he he) for about 8 months and it finally came to a head with him showing up to work today with a loaded gun ready to kill himself, teach her a lesson, and take out anybody that got in the way. Toni and I are both fine, he is in jail with no bail on a suicide watch and stupid chic is going away and probably will not be back. Yes, I was very nice and supportive, held her while she cried, took care of her all morning, even stopped the ex husband from calling by answering her phone and talking to him, talked to the police since I have been a witness to the events over the last several months, did all the good things to help out. As dumb as she is and as annoying as she can be, I still feel for her and her desire to have the world be a "happy place". Hmmm.....aren't I horrible, terrible person???? However, I did learn a valuable lesson....helping other people in a crisis REALLY puts me behind on my workload! (Kidding).

Oh, just got off the phone with Grace. Her and Claudia and the girl have an apartment and I guess it is HUGE!! She won't be back up in Salt Lake probably until November, but definatly in December and will be bringing Claudia with her. She has been offered a very incredible opportunity to stay in Texas, an Operations Manager position, and she is not foolish enough to turn that down! Plus, with a cute Hispanic chick........ She wanted to make sure that you all knew that she missed you, was thinking about you, and is a horrible slackard about contacting everyone and updating her blog (right Grace?). Send her positive energy as I think she is needing that right now since they have her running ragged!

JJ, what the fuck is that background on your blog?

Dear Diary Tuesday....really.....

Damn, I think I was ahead of myself yesterday on my blog! The error has been corrected and it does now say "Monday".

So, today I get home from my work to have my mother doubled over on the couch, clutching her warmth bag to her stomache, pale as a sheet. Not the flu, not food poisoning.....her freakin' ulcer again and a horrible bout of gas that will not leave her body. So I start taking care of her and finally, we manage to make the pain go away. Oh, and I think she is going to be calling her doctor tomorrow to discuss the surgery to correct the freakin' ulcer that is turning me into an old woman! AAARRRGGGHHHH! Shut up Toni!

Work was good. The lazy ass, jeep-rolling, pot smoking, lazy ass (I already used that one, huh?) chic that I work with came in, late of course, but never left her desk, put her headphones on all day and proceeded to......are you ready for this.........are you sitting down.....WORK! Now, in the 8 hours she was at work she only managed to complete TWO appeal letters, but hey, better that than nothing. Actually, the god's honest truth is that I would rather NOT have her at work at all because then I would not have to listen to her singing along, in a dog howling fashion, to the disco shit she is listening too!!! Oh well, I was entertained and that is what counts.

Had a great discussion with JJ today about "body image". Enlightened her to my thoughts and was VASTLY entertained by a "comparison" that she brought up........HUGELY entertained by the comarison she brought up!! Also had Toni reminding me of horrible crank calls we use to do in high school where we would pick names out of the phone book and call, acting like an Asian person ordering Chinese food. I actually burst out laughing today with the memory. What a horrible high school prank but one that I miss immensly. So, if you get any mysterious crank calls for "Flied Lice"....it is Toni.....keep that in mind......

Damn, it is great to be surrounded by such open, honest, blunt, and hilarious friends!!!!

Oh, and it was great to touch base with Dee again. Poor Dee....send her lots and lots of positive energy as it is the slow season at her work and she is BORED!!! Maybe Toni should call her......

Dear Diary Monday...
I had a really bad night last night. Had a whole bunch of things on my brain, bothering me psychologically and spiritually. Ended up not sleeping at all last night due to my stressing. Got up and went to work, keeping my tone quiet and introverted as I have decided that I am to "go to work, do my job, go home" no more, no less. Had a great phone call and e-mai letting me know that I was going to lunch with a special someone, not taking NO for an answer, so I met up with JJ at the La Puente for stimulating conversation, fun food, and FREAK OUT fantastic hair on the lovely lady!!! Oh, and her suit was SHARP! Anyways, I got a new perspective on the situation, made me feel a lot better, and I thank her for that. She has convinced me that I am not as horrible of a friend as I have been made to feel. That I should not change the fact that I am an open and honest (sometimes to blunt, but that is me) person who tries very hard to help everyone around her. She reminded me that I have a large scope of friends because of those, and several other qualities that she and Toni, pointed out to me today. I feel much better, but at the same time, very slighted by people who definatly do not know anything about me...and for that I am sad. I am the type of person who will attack those who hurt her friends, even if the "hurt friend" makes up with the attacker, not to understand why I attacked the person in the first place. I can have a rip roaring fight with somebody and still make up with them, call them my friend, trust them again...and I don't need to broadcast that across the entire nation. I am not vengeful, I am not mean, at least I try not to be. However, there are few people that view me as such, which is their right. However, not bringing your issues that you have WITH me TO ME is hurtful as it shows me that there is no trust, no faith, in what is our "friendship". Oh well, lessons learned and I am moving on.

Work was.....hell. The chic that had the roll over came in on time, was on the phone all morning, had to leave for an emergency ultrasound, got back at around 2:00, had a meeting with my boss and the Pit Boss, came out crying, grabbed her purse and left. What an OH SO PRODUCTIVE day for her. The reason for the tears? Because she cannot keep up the major project she was given, it has now cost us a client, they removed her from the project and gave it to somebody else....who actually has been doing the project for about 5 weeks now. If it were any other person, I would say the tears were because she felt so lousy about costing us a client.....however, having heard what she was telling ther people, the tears were because "they hurt her feelings because they made her feel like she couldn't handle the job.".......ummmm, wasn't she that PROVED she couldn't handle the job. Oh well, I will be as supportive as I can, bite my tongue, struggle through this with her. I think the Fates are trying to teach me compassion and patience this week.......keep your fingers crossed for me......

Dear Diary, part two....

I had somebody very special to me today tell me that I was an "angry person". First I was kind of stunned, as I have never heard anyone say that about me before. Secondly, I was humbled. It is a true statement, and one that I need to work on. The anger, regardless of the reasons, has permeated many aspects of my life, including my blogs. So, the effort will be made by myself to work on that aspect of my life, and to the dear friend that brought it to my attention, thank you!

Dear Diary.....

Wednesday, Thursday, and part of Friday was spent in Wendover with Dylan. I had a fairly great time, had a couple of disagreements, but nothing that was not settled fairly quickly. I believe that Dylan has now discovered that having me drink tequilla is NOT a good thing as it makes me very irritable and mean, not that you could even tell the difference. We then came home on Friday and saw "Red Dragon" which I thoroughly enjoyed and made me even miss more the fact that I did not continue on to become a forensic psychologist or take the opportunity that I had to go with the FBI. Oh well, either study serial killers or become one, the dilema the dilema.

Saturday I spent the day shopping with my Mom. We went to the Farmer's Market, Costco, Harmons, and then had to take two of my brand new pants back to Lane Bryant because in one week they became HUGE on me so I had to go for a smaller size. Today, the folks and I went to breakfast, Gardner Village (which is not open on Sunday, BTW), fed the ducks at the duck park, Fred Meyers, and then I barbecued for the folks......steak for my dad and scallops for my mom. All in all, it was a great weekend and a very nice time off.

So, it looks as though the quest for pumpkins has started. I purchased my first 13 today and will be going back to periodically pick up more this week. I have decided for all of the widows that I carve pumpkins for that I am going to do "normal" size pumpkins and not the monster ones that I bought today. All of the huge ones will be used to decorate the yard.....can't wait for that to start!

Hmmm.....have also been doing some thinking about myself lately and the course I have taken in life when dealing with people. I have discovered I have once again tried to be "too nice" to save feelings of others and in turn, probably have caused more problems and hurt to other people and to myself. So, that will be coming to an end.

Oh, and Grace, the big in-love slackard, is doing very well. She and I e-mail each other continuously and she has been very good about calling me. She is an amazing gal and I hope that Claudia can see that in her, as well. After Grace had out "talking it out" session, we have never been more eye to eye on things. I am keeping my fingers crossed for that lady, Texas won't know what hit them when she moves in!