Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Dear Diary Tuesday....

I have blisters on the ankles from where my "expensive" work out shoes rubbed that are the size of apricots!!!! Not even putting bandaids on them made it hurt less!!! God Damn Shoes!!

Anyways, did another evening of going to the gym and, other than my feet, I felt great! I ran into Toni's in-laws....the Netzler clan. Rob's father had NO IDEA who I was, but regardless, I adore that man! He is so soft spoken.

Work has been good. I have been busy, the attitude has been kept positive, the atmosphere is a lot lighter around there, and everyone but me is complaining about how overloaded they are. It is almost amusing! Now, I am not saying I am not overloaded, but I just do what I can, delegate a great deal, and go home. I think the change in attitude AND going back to the gym has helped a great deal.

Okay, about going to the gym and paying more attention to what I eat.....I could barely keep my eyes opened at work today! I finally figured out it is because I am not eating hardly any sugars lately, living on iced tea (that's normal for me), and working out. I had a very healthy, HUGE salad today from Cafe Rio (thanks to the Tonster) and I thought, "Oh, this will wake me up!" Actually, it was the complete opposite. Yep, apparently refined sugars have apparently kept me kicking, and very possibly, kept me alive, maybe preserved, and I never really knew!!! The next few days are going to be hard, but I am sticking to my new outlook on life!!!

Speaking of attitude and out look, I have been fighting some major "blues" lately. With the impending 33 birthday (which is really not that big of a deal) and the anniversary of Scott's passing, this year just seems to be a little more somber for me. It will be the first birthday I have had in many a year that I won't hear that voice calling me, wishing his favorite "negress" a happy birthday. God, I miss him. I was hoping it would get easier, but I guess you just learn to cope. Oh well, he will be missing a great birthday bash!!!

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Dear Diary Sunday, part deux....

Almost 5:00 pm and I am ALMOST finished with the laundry. I decided to get a little amibitious and not only do my laundry, the folks laundry, but also my brother's laundry as well as his sheets and blankets! In between that I cleaned both bathrooms, the kitchen, straightened up my room, and did a fantastic bbq of trout and steak with onions and mushrooms. It was divine, or at least I think so.

I am thinking of my options for the evening in regards to relaxing. I will either read a bit, take a bubble bath, go to bed or I will take a bubblebath, write some poetry, read, go to bed. Not sure which avenue. Oh, and I am considering doing a bit of yard work this evening....nothing very exciting, just putting some Miracle Gro on the yard, but I am thinking that it can wait until tomorrow after the gym. Gosh, decisions and more decisions.

Got some stuff on the mind this day, stuff that I usually don't like to think about and have had in my heart and my gut for awhile now, stuff that I have not dealt with but I know I will have to. I have a friendship that I don't truly believe is as honest as it should be. This person has been caught in lies and deceipt before and I have forgiven. But now I have found a few other lies and that bothers me. I don't believe in having relationships where lies are an acceptable aspect of it. The friendships I have now mean a great deal to me...have taken a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to build. Now, I just need to decide what to do with this one relationship. Try to look past the immaturity of the individual and forgive or just bring it to a halt and move on. Gawd, a blond mind can't handle this much all at once! Need.....to......go......do......fingernails.....and.......my.......hair.........

Dear Diary Sunday...


Yes, my blue-boy-honey-bear is turning 30 today. Does it not just seem like a moment ago we were all graduating high school??????

Yesterday was a good day. I did a whole bunch of shopping with my mom, then I came home and took care of my dad. I had to remove his bandages from the two incisions sites...one site being a little too close to my comfort to an area of my Daddy that I NEVER want to see...and then clean the wounds. The areas are looking really good, healing VERY quickly, and he was so relieved to have the bandages off, as they were a little uncomfortable. I then proceeded to get ready to spend the evening with a wonderful group of friends, enjoying fine drink and amazing food, and the company was....the word to describe how amazing and energizing the company was escapes me. Needless to say, an evening where I can show up at 7:30 and the next time I look at a clock it is going on midnight is a fantastic evening. Thank you to the hosts of the evening, you are a blessing to my life and I thank the Goddess each and every day.

Today is shaping up nicely. I have some minor cleaning and laundry, but I am bbqing for the folks......steak and trout. Then I might be going over to Dylan's for ANOTHER bbq with his folks and family.

Positive note: never let an opportunity for your spirit to be energized and to share that love and energy with another, pass you by. Friends and family are a special gift in your life, one to not be taken for granted. I am made more beautiful and lovable by having these gifts in my life.