Dear Diary Saturday....

I have discovered something very interesting about myself. I have a very HIGH tolerance for pain. Now, how did I discover this? It might have been me going for three years with constant gall bladder attacks and heart attacks. It might have been when I broke every bone in my arm, wrist, and hand BUT was able to smile through Christmas until my sister left so I could rush to emergency AND then spend the day with Dylan's clan.....drug free. However, I think the fact that I have been suffering from severe upper chest pains caused by 1) stress and 2) carbonation and indigestion that I think has taught me what I can endure! Oh, and stepping off the neighbors porch step COMPLETELY wrong and twisting my ankle and then walking home on it is also a good lesson!!! Anyways, the chest pains are diminishing....thank goodness. Oh, and let me clarify before I get anyone freaking out on me....they are pain right below my throat, right about my chest, so not really "chest" and not really "pain"...more of an annoyance.

Today was good. Got up and went to Petsmart, Lamberts floral, and Costco. Had a fantastic lunch with the folks, took a wonderful nap, watched the Kentucky Derby and now I am about to start getting ready to go out with my girl pack for a night of debauchery....er, I mean dancing!

Dear Diary Thursday....

Wish I had something cheerful and exciting to share, but I don't. I have had one of the crappier weeks. I have discovered that because I am genuinely nice and genuinely interested in people, and because I make a HUGE effort to help out people, that individuals (this means family, friends, and co-workers) believe it is okay to jump down my throat when they are having a bad day. Let me share an experience of this week. A couple of days ago a co-worker of mine had taken a really bad call, or so she said. Now, she is terrible when it comes to exaggerating how "bad" a call can be, as she is a true drama queen. Anyways, another customer service representative came over to let me know that they had a supervisor call, could I take it. Well, it happens to be on a group that is not "mine" and is my drama queen researcher co-worker's. I ask her, not DEMAND of her, if she would like to take the supervisor call, as it is her group. She proceeds to turn to me and SCREAM AT ME, no exaggeration there, that she can't take the call, she just had a really bad call, blah blah blah. As you can see, I quit listening the moment the voice was raised. HOWEVER, I hissed back at her not to freak out, I would take the call. I took the call, not a big deal. She CONTINUED throughout my call to keep freaking out. I finally had to put the person on hold, push my chair back to face her and TELL her in a very cruel tone that I was TAKING THE FUCKING CALL and to mellow out.

Now, you add that day to having had a friend freak out all over me because of something a friend of her's did/did not do, say/did not say and then having loved ones continuously jumping on me due to some stressful situation in their lives, and it adds up to being not such a nice week. The part that I find most amusing is that I am not a doormat, I fight back. You would think people would know that by now. And when I fight back, I'm not nice. I say things that I DO mean and are usually cruel, I distance myself from them for awhile, I ignore them for a week or so, and I usually will not apologize for my actions, as they were well earned. So, if you have been distance, belittled, or ignored recently, you now know why.

I guess this is the way that the Fates are testing my vow of being honest with others and with myself? Or is it my patience they are testing??

On a more positive note, I found out that my "fill in boss" is pregnant....which is wonderful because she will make a fantastic mother.

Dear Diary Monday...

Okay, the "bad Sunday" entry, Diary, was due to seeing Scottie's headstone. Kerry and Su were kind enough to take pics and then forward them to Jeffy who forwarded them to Dylan and I. It is not like I don't remember with each single day that Scott is gone, but it never ceases to amaze me. I am not going to rehash my friendship with Scott, or the reasons he chose to leave, I just miss him more with each day. If I could just have a chance to let him know what a poop head he is for walking away from an amazing twin and a phenomenal mother, I would take that chance in a second. If I could give him a twisty bruise for it, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, I know wherever he is, and I KNOW he is somewhere, he realizes what he has done. But if I was going to put a spin on this, and look at things from a much brighter perspective, it made an already wonderful friendship with Jeffy blossom into something bigger and better.....more honest, giving, and loving....and I guess, I have Scott to thank for that. I just hope he realizes how incredible of a person Jeffy is and how much he is missing out on......

Dear Diary Sunday....

Oh, diary, pretty boring weekend. Saturday I woke up and took two cats and both dogs to the vet. All was well, except for when my Cali Ann had to have her tartar removed from a tooth and when the vet picked the tartar off, the entire tooth came out and she SWALLOWED IT! I then came home and did a grand total of NOTHING the entire day....and enjoyed every minute of it. Today, I got up and went to Petsmart, came home and took out a tree, and then relaxed. Unfortunately, I am a little low on energy right now as I have not been taking very good care of myself. So, I did spend sometime today researching ways to increase my energy level. I did find out that I need to have my thyroid checked, start taking some Ginseng, start my exercise routine back up, and cut out most carbohydrates, at least the bad ones. All in all, not too bad of a change in lifestyle for me!