Better day......

As painful as this week has been, the healing has started. My folks seem to be doing better. I think it is going to help that I will be home from work tomorrow to take them shopping and just be "the good daughter". However, I am still at that point that every time I see a small dog, my heart begins to ache again. Oh, and wow, stress has some bad effects on the body!!! I won't go into them, but I don't like it!

I had a great phone call today from Grace and I wish I could have spoken with her longer, but my boss was standing there when my cell phone went off. Dondra had her baby! Both the baby and the mother are fine and Grace sounded exhausted! Wish them all your love and send the positive energy, as I think Dondra is going to need it!!!

Oh, and for those of us that blew this off.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE!!!! The beloved Dee's b-day was yesterday, so start harassing her with all the e-cards you can!

I spent last evening in the company of Dylan and his family. I was reintroduced to his Aunt Sheila and Uncle Ned who are both wonderful! It was his Aunt D'Ann's b-day, so of course Dylan's mother had to throw a huge dinner party. The food was wonderful, most of the company was great, I had some wonderful laughs, and it was good to get away and get my mind on other things. HOWEVER, Dylan's insane-troll grandmother touched me! And she kept saying I was "Dion's girlfriend"...whomever the fuck that is. So apparently, I am engaged to Dylan, but I am Dion's girlfriend. Thought I would let you all in on the little secret!!!!

And thank you all to everybody who sent their support and love.

My Mormon name is Loreiene Miracles Precious One!
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One of the worst days of my life.....

I got home yesterday, and Timi looked really bad. I had to force her to eat again, which she didn't handle at all....most of it falling out of her mouth. Woke up this morning, knowing today would be the day beause she refused to eat and I couldn't even force her and was drinking more water than ever. The folks, god love them, took her to the vet to be euthanized. Dr. Kodel said it was kidney failure and very lovingly put her to sleep. I wish I could say that I had been strong enough to be there, but I cowardly went to work and spent the day crying even before I got the call. Thank god that my folks were stronger than me. Thanks to Toni, against all of her trying, I made it through work and actually functioned to some degree. No, I am not okay so don't ask. No, I wont be okay for awhile, so don't bother. I know this will get easier because I have been through it before but right now I hate everything, especially myself. Just think of me, and I will appreciate it.

Not such a good weekend......

My daddy's b-day went very well. I bought him three bags of Canna bulbs and some new tools for the outdoors and some really cushy knee pads because his knees are so bad that they pop and creek when we are working outside on the cold ground. I also made him a fantastic wodsy, smokey beef stew and his favorite Orange Chiffon Cake. However, the weekend was darkened by the fact that our little maltese poodle, Timi, is gradually, slowly getting worse every day. I actually awoke to the sounds of my mother sobbing this morning because Timi was so weak that she couldn't stand at all, was not drinking, would not go to the potty, and would not drink water....and was incredibly cold. Come to find out, she made her way out to our kitchen tile and ended up sleeping on it all night, which caused her body temperature to drop way below normal. SOOOO, I jumped into action...making her drink, taking her outside, giving her a nice massage in a warm blanket......and pureeing some chicken which she gobbled down. Within an hour, she was feeling fantastic. However, I know her time is limited but after seeing how poorly my mother reacted this morning, I need her to be okay with the idea before I can have Timi put to sleep....which is the most humane thing to do. Oh hell...I knew that this day was going to come and after this many years and this many animals, you would think it would get easier, but it never does. Sometimes I wonder why I put my heart through this hell. Then I remember that there are sooooo many more happy memories and how lucky I am to be able to share my life with so many special animals and what an honor it is for me to have them in my life. And if my one and only gift to them is to put an end to their suffering and suffer because of my selfish need to keep them just a little bit longer, so be it.

On a happier note, I am thrilled to hear that Connie and Grace are doing so well....other than Connie suffering a horrible spring cold....which Grace gave to her. Dylan is also suffering from a cold......a little coincidental???? hmmnmmmm.......