Dear Diary Friday...

You know how truly evil you are when you come into work and EVERYONE was happy you had taken a mental health day because, "You REALLY needed it." Yep, that was the comments from a lot of people, most of them people not even remotely close to my department but had heard how horrible I was. Aren't you happy you don't work witn me? Poor Toni, she even knows when to stay away from our area. And the worst part of it is is that I have been taken aside by my supervisor and my Pit Boss and told that I have to work on my attitude because I infect the rest of the staff.....if I am pissy, so are they. Now, this is not new news to me....Dylan has been telling me this for years. However, I never really believed him until I decided one day, not very long ago, to be a rag beast for no other reason than to see if it really is the case....which it was!!! So the mental health day was a good idea and a huge success as I came back to work with a better attitude. I think having so much on my mind for so many months, and then worrying about my Toni Bologny the last few weeks made me just unbearable.....even for myself! But, all is well in the world now....Toni has a sore spot but will be fine, the parents are much better, my dogs and cats are all healthy, and it is Spring. What more can I ask for in life????

Dear Diary Thursday...

After an exceptionally bad day yesterday at work, I decided to take today off. I was not really going to take it off, but when my alarm went off at 4:00am this morning, I decided to crawl back into bed. I got up, did the whole shower, get dressed, do your hair and make up thing, ended up going down to the mall to pick my mom up from her hair appointment and did a little bit of shopping with her, but I was still so exhausted that we went home and I crawled back into bed for an hour nap. I think, no, I HOPE, I am finally a little caught up on my sleep because I actually feel better now than I have in a couple of weeks. It is amazing what stress and lack of sleep can do....oh, and being on the constant "go" with my parents being ill since February! Shoot, come to think about it, I don't think I have really relaxed since before Christmas!

Speaking of time off, it has almost been a downright cat fight for me to actually have an entire day to myself, only for myself, and not having to entertain or cater to anyone else. Now, I did end going down to pick up my mom, but I did that by choice. However, I have discovered that making myself so available to everyone else, that people have come to expect it. When I told my mom I was thinking of taking today off, she was sooooo excited..."Oh wonderful! I want to go to Mervyns, to Shopko, to Kmart, to Walmart, the mall......." until I had to almost scream at her that "NO! It is MY DAY OFF!" I think she finally understood how desperatly I needed it when she had to practically drag me to a chair in the mall because I was so tired! How funny is it that I have to beg to have time just for myself, and almost be having a heartattack or comatose to get it. Pathetic that I have allowed it to come to this point. I blame no one but me.

However, in all of this chaos, I have come to appreciate and love my friends and family more and more. I may be a real bitch most of the time, but some how my friends can see past that cruel, heartless facade and really still love me. How is it that true friendship and love can make you see past the bad parts of people? What a very odd circle of friends I have.......and how very lucky I am.

Dear Diary Wednesday....

Had a really lousy week so far, not going to get into it, but my angel-girl, Connie, brightened my day by sending me a beautiful friendship bouquet of flowers, and it helped a lot knowing that somebody loved me and thought me beautiful. Thank you again, my Connie.

Dear Diary Sunday....

Okay, diary, let me just start of by saying the evening with all of the ladies at the Paper Moon was very enjoyable, very relaxing, and VERY entertaining. Unfortunately, Connie blew out her knee, but it was made all better by the magical lap dances she kep receiving.

Today was a great day. I cleaned my ENTIRE room, did 5 loads of laundry, dusted the entire house, made a fantastic French Onion Soup, caught a nap, and just enjoyed myself the entire day....right up to the point that the home teachers came over. Now, let me just start by saying that the two "gentlemen", (I am using that term only out of respect, not because they have earned it), never call before they come over, so the ended up knocking on our door right in the middle of dinner. Fortunately, they were respectful enough to leave and come back. Well, whenever they come over, I always go into my room and read or do something. Today, I was already in there cleaning, so it worked out for me. Their entire conversation time, which was approximately 1 hour, consisted of discussing how we should kill cats. I have a secret project going on right now, nothing I am discussing with anyone, that I have been doing for over a week now, that involves cats. My mom happened to tell them and that is how their discussion started. Fortunately for them, I stayed in my room and just imagined how many enjoyable ways there were to watch these two men die in very painful ways. Anybody that finds it amusing discussing how animals should be poisoned should not be a representative of ANY church, even if they were joking. Then they discussed how one neighbor, who's wife died a few months ago, has left his house in disrepair and is selling it. Did they offer to go over and help, maybe clean up the yard, help out with the household chores. Of FUCKING COURSE NOT! That would be a charitable act, which individuals in our neighborhood who are involved in a certain religion, would never do. Now, do not misunderstand, it is not the religions fault, but this congregation in their neighborhood is such the bottom of the barrel when it comes to empathetic individuals!! They finally spent about 10 minutes discussing Mother's Day. My parents are so good about talking with these men, and I am so respectful of my parents, that I would not ever disrupt or argue with their idiocy. However, if their grass dies or their cars don't start sometime this summer, let's just call it Fate.

Oh, and don't forget we have a special birthday this week. Chet is turning something like 60 or 70 this Wednesday...please remember to say Happy Old Person Day to him!!!!