Saturday, January 17, 2004

Dear Diary Saturday...

Last night with Dylan was wonderful. We went to Thaifoon for dinner, which would have been really good if it had been warm. And then we went to Media Play so I could pick up my movie, "Underworld" and then back to his house to relax and watch it. It was just nice to be able to relax and watch a movie and not think for a little while.

Today is going to be "shopping day with Mom" day. I am actually looking forward to it and plan on eventually getting my nails done some time today as well. If all works out, I should be able to go to the gym this afternoon! I know, I know. It is pathetic when you actually LOOK FORWARD to going to the gym! However, I have found it is a great place to work off stress and center myself.

I have discovered a very interesting aspect of my work. Recently, a co-worker was moved away from me. I adore this woman, have worked with her for years at different places, but sitting next to each other we grate on each other's nerves. Now that she has moved, we are back to being almost friends. And the third person that sits by us, somebody who I have worked with longer than just about anybody in my life, who at one point I did consider a friend, she and I now get a long wonderfully! How strange that the dynamics of seating arrangements can adjust the flow of positive energy. I can now see this person and myself actually re-building a relationship. Like I blogged in one of my first blogs of the year, this friendship might be coming around again. I have my fingers crossed that we can keep positive with each other and let things happen naturally. If the Goddess would like us to be friends, so be it. I guess I am learning that people have aspects of themselves that you may not always like, however, you can learn to love even the most annoying habits. And forgiving is a good thing, but them earning your trust and friendship again is better. I believe that type of foundation is strong.

Speaking of friends, have you ever felt that you might have somebody in your life that you are not totally confident in? I have a couple of friends, who I love and think no less of them, but feel that if I was "bad mouthed" in front of them, they would never defend me. I am trying to sort out these feelings, and it is their very right NOT to defend me, but I know if the tables were turned, I probably would go down to the mat for any of my friends against someone. Oh well, learning is a good thing.

Positive thought for the day: Love those in your life regardless of what faults you may find in them. The faults you see today may be the blessing of tomorrow.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Dear Diary Friday...

Yesterday was a tough day at work for me to keep my mouth shut. I was feel frustrated and overwhelmed by two issues. The first issue was the amount of people that should be on the phone and again, were not. And the second issue is that fact that it would never change because my supervisor is spineless. However, I did make the day better by taking a co-worker down to Shopko where we found some INCREDIBLE deals on really cute sweaters that we both got. The deal? 75% off and the sweater was only $6.00!! I also got some work shoes, a new purse, and my hair care products that only Shopko seems to carry. By the time I got back to work, my mood had lifted by I was coming down with a headache. Unfortunately, by the time I got home I had a massive migraine. I believe it was brought on by my period and the fact that I was not sleeping again. I was in bed by 7:30 and did not wake until my alarm went off this morning. Needless to say, my mood is better, I only have a residual headache, and I feel completely rested. Oh, and I had a fantastic morning but for reasons I am not putting down in my blog yet.

Today is going to be a great day. I am off of work at 1:15 and have an appointment and then Dylan and I are going to dinner...I believe to the Thaifoon. And the weekend is not looking too shabby either. Again, Dylan and I won't be spending this weekend together, as it is my parent's anniversary and I am spending the whole weekend with them. I am letting them decide what we are doing, where we are eating, etc. The only actual plans I have are to get my laundry and cleaning done, oh, and going to the gym.

Positive thought: even when your body does not allow you go to the gym, know that you are still doing wonderful things for your health and you can make up for it the next day. Don't look at it as a pitfall but a challenge.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Dear Diary Wednesday...

Oh today was a long one. I am not sure what caused it to take so long to end...Either the fact that I was miffed because I am suppose to be off the phones but the people that are suppose to be taking the calls were standing around talking, or the fact that I have about 40 different responsibilities and I can't keep them caught up because I am on the phone, or because of the fact that they pulled another person off of our phones to do a specialized job BUT I still have to answer calls! Take your pick. Anyways, as tempting as it was to mouth off and be a bitch about it, I kept to myself, tried to stay positive (sometimes failing at that and clamming up) and by the end of the day, I was smiling and happy again. I think the most frustrating part of it is that I have a supervisor, whom I adore, but she is not capable of being a BOSS. She wants to be everybody's friend, not step on toes, not hurt feelings....Unless it is mine. And that, of course, is because we are friends. I know, I know....Vicious cycle. Good thing I have this blog to let it all out on.

I made it to the gym tonight and did a great work out....Until I got a cramp in my thigh that I could not get to loosen up! Ended up only doing 45 minutes and called it a night. Oh well, it will give me a chance to get to bed earlier.

Speaking of bed, I am in my insomnia cycle again. I spend the majority of my night sitting in bed and thinking. Thankfully, it is not driving me insane and I am feeling rested when I rise. However, I think I am going to crash tonight because I did not have the same "pep" as I have had the rest of the week.

Oh, and I have a special friend in my thoughts and in my heart. She is dealing with a great deal of emotional pain and stress right now in many areas of her life and I hope that she knows that I love her and adore her regardless of the way she is being made to feel. Lots of energy going to this woman.

Positive thought of the day: Your personal endeavors are keeping you on course. Keep the steps in mind to the big picture. It is the baby steps that get us where we need to be.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Dear Diary Tuesday....part two....

I forgot to share my experiences this week that have been so much fun. I purchased from Avon Liquid Energy. It is two different types of ginseng extract. Well, I did as the label suggested, one dropper full under the tongue. Honestly, I believe that ginseng MUST BE exactly how urine tastes! It was awful! But WOW! I had energy for four hours straight! I took it again at about 3:00 pm and my workout at the gym was incredible!! Thank the Goddess I DID have a workout, or I have no idea how I would have slept last night! I am buying two more bottles.....

Well, I did not make it to the gym tonight. I had an appointment after work that went extra long and then I ran to the grocery store, and well, that was HELL! So, I finally made it home at 7:30 tonight. No bother, I plan on making up for it tomorrow at the gym.

Dear Diary Tuesday....part one,
This is what I came into this morning in an e-mail from a friend who is out of state....for some reason it made me smile and started the day off right. Normally, I would have not given it a second glance, but for some strange reason, I really liked it and hope others enjoy it as well:


There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Don't count the years-count the memories...........

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;
but by the moments that take our breath away!

Monday, January 12, 2004

Dear Diary Monday...

Today was an insanely busy day at work because of it being Monday and because we had two people out sick. We are unfortunately experiencing a lot of cold and flu this year and will the amount of women I work with, their kids are getting it too. I did manage to get almost every single project completed that I had set for myself, except for working on our appeals, which directly effects our bonuses. Tomorrow, if all goes well, that will be my one and only priority. Oh, and cleaning out my bosses e-mail.

Gym was great today. Many of the people who started their New Year's Resolutions of working out have already quit, so the gym is not nearly as packed. My mom and I did two miles of fast cardio walking and talked the entire time and it was great! I was so sweaty and stinky by the time we left that I could not wait to get home and into a tub. I know that sounds pretty disgusting, but I know from the sweat and the "good feeling" of fatigue in my muscles, that I had a wonderful workout. And have I mentioned the increase in energy?

Speaking of energy, I am sending out lots of energy to the Tonster.....she was pretty damn sick at work today...whiter than normal and with fever. I am hoping she will not be the next casualty at work. I am keeping her in my prayers and in my blessings.

Positive thought for the day: Feeling the body move in a healthy fashion is a blessing....along with the sweat and the fatigue! Keep yourself motivated because of the amount of energy it is bringing to you.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Dear Diary Sunday...

This weekend has been nothing but boring and busy. I spent the weekend disinfecting the house because the last thing that is needed is for my parents to catch this cold. Unfortunately, I have also been fighting with a migraine, and today, it has finally won. I have spent the day doing nothing but trying to get rid of it. Unfortunately, I missed out on the annual "Gang Get Together" that happened last night, which I was really looking forward too, but I could not have forgiven myself if I had gone and somebody had caught my "bug". Especially one of the kids.....parents would have every right to kick my ass.

Good news is that in the week of watching what I eat, being careful about my portions, and going to the gym I have managed to take off a few pounds and that make me very happy. I know I am trying to do this for the reason of only being healthy, but the loss of weight is making me be a very, very happy girl. I am hoping to keep on track with this and make a few lifestyle changes along the way. I thank the Fates for all of the people in my life that have given me the motivation to start taking control of these things.

Positive thought for the day: Never forget to thank those in your life for being who they are and what they are.....not only your friends but your inspirations.