Saturday, September 27, 2003

Dear Diary Saturday....

Yesterday was wonderful, other than the constant nagging headache and bad stomach. I made it through work, and I did not think I was going to, and go a lot accomplished. I think that my MAJOR problem can be handled next week now that I have everything up to speed. It was nice that everyone was in a good mood, the individuals that I find annoying stayed away all day long, and I was able to tough out a day that I should have been home in bed.

After work, Dylan and I went to dinner and then to see the movie "Cold Manor Creek", which was completely something other than what I thought it was. I thought it was going to be about a haunted house and it ended up being about a psycho hillbilly. Other than being shocked by the plot, it was not too bad of a movie.

After the movie, we parted ways so that I could attempt to actual get a full nights sleep. Somewhere between work and going home, I had twisted my foot, so I ended up having to sleep with a hot pad on me neck AND on my foot. How strange is this, but I actually SLEPT the entire night....with no help from any drugs! I woke up this morning feel rested and very full of energy, which is a good thing because Dylan and I have a full day of fun planned. We are heading up to Park City, going to feed our ducks, going to do a light dinner, and any other "fun" we can find.

Keeping my positive energy flowing to Shane at this time, as I know he has been driving himself to sickness worrying about his parents. I know that they will continue to love him and embrace Chet. Hell, who could not love that couple!

Friday, September 26, 2003

Dear Diary Friday...

For having two days off this week, it has been a tremendously long week! But, I guess that is how it goes with taking vacation days.

Again, no sleep last night. I am feeling horrible this morning, as I went to bed with a headache and got up with a worse one. I think it is due to the lack of sleep and all of the medication I took last night...don't ask the quantity, as it was a lot of pills.

Today, I am hoping, will go by quickly and that I can accomplish a lot. I am trying to clear my head of the fuzziness that seems to have webbed its way, so that I am able to do all that I have planned.

The countdown is on for when I can start my weekend.....

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Dear Diary Thursday...

After some thought about how my perspectives and opinions are effecting me and how much time I am spending on worrying about friendships and negative impacts, I have decided that it is all for nothing. I have no idea why I am so consumed with how friends should be, should act, should respect you. Apparently my idea of what a friendship is is very narrow and archaic. Therefore, I am just not really going to care anymore. It is much easier to keep my opinions to myself and not express them, because I am the only person that seems to hold the same ideals. To others, defending your friends and your friendship is unheard of. To stand behind your friend and watch their back is moronic. It is "alright" to allow somebody to disrespect you, talk about you behind your back, and belittle you. I, apparently, am the only person who seems to find those things as wrong. Therefore, again, I have to stop caring. For the sake of my sanity and physical well being, I shall keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself. I need to get my energy back on track and my attitude in a better place. I think changing my attitude in this area might be a good step.

Work was chaotic yesterday, after being off for a few days. However, I kept at it and finally got myself caught up before I left for the day. Today I have a lot of projects, but I am going to keep a positive attitude and get through them.

Still looking forward to this weekend.....

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Dear Diary Tuesday...

Yesterday was unbelievably busy! We took my father for his eye appointment, and I am thrilled to say that his vision in the eye that had the macular hole AND the cataract has improved FAR more than the doctor had hoped. However, they are not going to schedule him for another surgery until probably some time next year, as he has had four major surgeries this year. After the appointment, we ran down to get him a new lens in his glasses for the one eye and then ran to Smith's. We did a bit of grocery shopping and I picked up a steamcleaner for the carpets. The rest of the afternoon was spent cleaning all of the carpets in the house AND the upholstery. I was totally amazed at how well those units work, as we usually hire somebody to clean our carpets for us. It was a helluva work out, but worth it!

Today, my father and I pruned the dead limbs from the monster tree out front and pruned another tree, all the while my mother was in the house scrubbing down the kitchen. I believe I heard them say, at least three times each, that they are VERY happy I am going back to work tomorrow! After finishing all of that up and having dinner, I decided to color my own hair and then take a very refreshing bubble bath. I am now relaxed and blond.

On a wonderful note, Shane stopped by my house yesterday to deliver me a beautiful Halloween set to display and I love it! He is such an amazing creature and I could not be more thrilled or more blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life as a best friend. He made my entire day!

Speaking of wonderful men, I am so excited about the upcoming weekend with Dylan. I have nothing pressing to do this weekend, no mountain of obligations, my entire Saturday will be devoted to spending time with him and being able to enjoy it! We have already planned a trip to Park City, going to see a movie, watching another movie we rented, and just spending quality time together. Unfortunately, when I have many obligations and many things going on in my life and in my mind, I can not truly relax and enjoy the company that I am with. None of that will be occurring this Saturday. Oh, and also on Friday, I hopefully will be spending an amazing evening with the "Fab 6" going to dinner somewhere new! Looking forward to that!!!!

Monday, September 22, 2003

Dear Diary Monday...

It has been one of those "Wow" weekends that I am getting kind of use to. Thursday I left work to head to Wendover with Dylan, Toni, Rob, Chet, and Shane. Dylan and I got out there early and met up with the others for dinner and drinks. Very relaxing evening. Friday, we headed home and Dylan and I met up later and saw "Underworld", which we both loved. We then had dinner and did some running around and then called it a night. Saturday was my sister's birthday, which apparently this year, is a very traumatic one for her. So, needless to say, teasing her mercilessly about getting older, droopy boobies, hot flashes, etc was not well advised.....but fun nonetheless!! Dylan and I eventually got together and we looked at some houses, had a wonderful dinner at the Porcupine Grill, and then rented some movies and relaxed. Sunday was spent taking down a HUGE tree in our backyard. We then had the cops over for the on going issues across the street. I finally had a chance to come in the house at 9:00 o'clock last night and relax!

Today I have a full agenda as well. I am taking my dad to his doctors appointment, then we are cleaning all of the carpets in the house. I know, I know, the world is jealous....

I have come to discover lately how some relationships in my life are very one-sided. That will be coming to an end very soon. I have catered to a few relationships over the year, not truly understanding how much these people were taking from me and I was getting nothing back. Unfortunately, I don't have the energy that I use to, so none will be spared anymore. Changes will be coming, people will be exiting my life...whether they like it or not. Some are expected, others are not. I just can not stand the constant draining of my energy, the negativity, the drama, the "it is all about me and I could give a fuck about anyone else" attitude. Maybe it is me, maybe I was raised differently, but I was always taught to be concerned about other people around me, what was going on in their lives, how they were doing, regardless of the situation I was in. But apparently, not all feel the same. Oh, and most of my friends know by now that trying to lay a guilt trip on me will get you exactly what you did not expect...me being pissed off not feeling bad.

Hmmm......just getting that off my chest has started to make me feel better all ready......