Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dear Diary Tuesday...

Yesterday ended on a very odd note. I left work and headed home to change, grab my Mom, and head to the gym. That did not happen. When I got home, Dylan was in the shape of a deformed "S" and could not stand up straight for all the money in the world. We called and made an emergency appointment with the chiropractor and headed over there. Fortunately they were able to get him in rather early and get him taken care of. I actually felt bad for the doctor as he can normally "pop" Dylan's back a number of times but this time he only got one good "pop" from stretching his leg out. Thankfully Dylan feels much better.

We then headed home and I had a discussion with my Mom. I called her yesterday from work and could tell from her voice that something was very, very wrong but she did not want to talk about it then. Come to find out, it was just "shit news" day all the way around. My one cousin, Sharon, was sent home from the hospital on Thursday...to die. Now, this is totally expected and I honestly thought she was going to pass in the hospital. The crap news.....in her final moments she has asked my folks to come over so she can say "good-bye". Now, my folks are not handling this well because, for one thing, Sharon is not very coherent right now, if at all. Secondly, my Dad does not deal with death any better than I do and will spiral into a horrible depression. Three, my Mom does not handle "good-byes" well and if it involves death, that makes it worse. And finally, who wants their final memories of a person to be that individual suffering. We will see what happens.

Then she informed me that my Dad's other nephew, who was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, has been in so much pain that he is back at the VA....and it is not the chemo/radiation that are making him hurt, it is the actual cancer. SOOOOO, he has informed his wife and family that he is just going to stop the chemo and die. No discussion, no listening to his options with his doctors, nothing....just going to die. Well, that is not a very acceptable thing in my family and we are hoping that today, he will meet with his Oncologist and see what options he has. Now, if his options are a poor quality of life and to be in pain, then live your final moments to the best of your ability, make your peace, and pass quietly and not in pain....I respect that. But if your options are that it is a cancer that they can operate on AND you will have a great quality of life....than by Gawd FUCKING DO IT!

And THEN we got news from my Dad's OTHER nephew that the urological stint that they put in because of his cancer is not working and he is undergoing surgery this week to be placed on a bag. He has also opted for another round of double dose chemo/radiation and it is making him very, very sick....and the outcome does not look good.

So, all in all, it was a very depressing day for my folks and I got to clean up the "aftermath" of that. Lots of hugs, lots of talking, lots of letting them get it out of their system and we will be moving on to the next day. Pray for strength.....


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