Dear Diary Thursday...

After an exceptionally bad day yesterday at work, I decided to take today off. I was not really going to take it off, but when my alarm went off at 4:00am this morning, I decided to crawl back into bed. I got up, did the whole shower, get dressed, do your hair and make up thing, ended up going down to the mall to pick my mom up from her hair appointment and did a little bit of shopping with her, but I was still so exhausted that we went home and I crawled back into bed for an hour nap. I think, no, I HOPE, I am finally a little caught up on my sleep because I actually feel better now than I have in a couple of weeks. It is amazing what stress and lack of sleep can do....oh, and being on the constant "go" with my parents being ill since February! Shoot, come to think about it, I don't think I have really relaxed since before Christmas!

Speaking of time off, it has almost been a downright cat fight for me to actually have an entire day to myself, only for myself, and not having to entertain or cater to anyone else. Now, I did end going down to pick up my mom, but I did that by choice. However, I have discovered that making myself so available to everyone else, that people have come to expect it. When I told my mom I was thinking of taking today off, she was sooooo excited..."Oh wonderful! I want to go to Mervyns, to Shopko, to Kmart, to Walmart, the mall......." until I had to almost scream at her that "NO! It is MY DAY OFF!" I think she finally understood how desperatly I needed it when she had to practically drag me to a chair in the mall because I was so tired! How funny is it that I have to beg to have time just for myself, and almost be having a heartattack or comatose to get it. Pathetic that I have allowed it to come to this point. I blame no one but me.

However, in all of this chaos, I have come to appreciate and love my friends and family more and more. I may be a real bitch most of the time, but some how my friends can see past that cruel, heartless facade and really still love me. How is it that true friendship and love can make you see past the bad parts of people? What a very odd circle of friends I have.......and how very lucky I am.