Sunday, April 06, 2003

Dear Diary Sunday...

Today is my "get your shit in order" kind of day. Doing a lot of laundry, cleaning, and baking...all things I like to do, for myself really, when I have a lot on my mind. Watching late night Saturday tv gives me a lot to thinkg about.....

1) When something is important to you, that does not give you the right to take up all of the "talking time" and lives of those around you...which I have been doing a lot of lately with the birth of my niece. If it is important and special to me, that does not make it important and special to others. In the same frame of mind, if it is important to somebody else, that does not need to make it important to me. However, since this is my blog, I will probably go on and on and on....just skip past it or don't visit my blog if it is boring to you.

2) Lives, and friendships, change and evolve. Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. I have certain relationships in my life that have become stagnated and boring.....not the other person's fault, as I take responsibility for what happens in my life. Boring bothers me...I don't find it "comfortable" like other people do. I also don't like being made to feel that my entire life, every waking moment, should be devoted to those other people. I need, desire, and will take time for me.

3) When I start to feel that I am taken for granted in a relationship, it is time for that relationship to expire.

4) Sometimes, but very rarely, you need to let an old relationship, one that you have pushed away, come back in to see what happens. Maybe that person has changed, maybe I am just needing a little bit of excitement, maybe I just want to see what happens....

5) Sometimes I need to bite the bullet, and my tongue, and just continue on, for a short period of time, doing something I don't like doing. Take that any way you want, but I am ACTUALLY discussing some aspects of my work.

6) This blog was started, and will continue, to be a place for me to express my thougths and my emotions. It is my personal diary. I will put things in here that might be disturbing and might be hateful and might be hurtful. Those are MY emotions, which are subject to change and evolve.

7) I love being a witch. I love being in touch with a part of me that for a VERY long time I hid. I love being able to meditate, cast blessings and spells, be an open person. It has made me more trustful, more honest, more full of love for others. HOWEVER, I am still working on patience, for myself and others.

8) I have a horrible self image and self esteem. These are things I am going to be working on. I think the fact that I am acknowledging it is a huge step on my part.


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