Dear Diary Saturday.....


Had a very busy week. My boss left on vacation early Wednesday, and all hell broke loose after she walked out the door. Two people, who already have an attendance issue, both had to "leave early" on Wednesday because of their children. Thursday, I had one of the two call in sick. Friday was just chaotic. With my boss being gone, and it being the end of the year, I am trying to do my job, my bosses job, help the Pit Boss out with several major problems that have come up, AND help one of the other researchers because she left early on Friday for a much deserved weekend getaway. Then I get together with Dylan on Friday night and our evening didn't exactly turned out the way either one of us planned, but it was nice to be together. The one thing that I did notice this week is that my mood has gotten darker and bleaker with each passing day, culminating in one of the worst depressions I have ever experienced from the moment I woke up this morning. Fortunately it has passed, as I would hate it for dampen my evening with the Netzlers, but I think I have maybe rooted out the problem. If you offend easily, don't continue on further:
1. I miss Scott....there I have said it. Scott and I had an extremely close relationship, one where we IM'd several times every day, usually starting with him in the morning when he awoke, then before he ran to school, then as soon as he got home from school, and before I went home. Then you top that off with our e-mails and reading each other's blog.....it was close. I had come to call him my "big brother". Thankfully, I can say that one good thing has come out of such a horrible situation....my relationship with Jeffy has only grown stronger and healthier. So, because I won't have the surly bastard Scott around for Christmas, that makes me sad and I will be stronger for it. Like I once said to a very close and loving friend of mine, "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger." Time to listen to my own advice.
2. I have been INUNDATED by people, family and friends, attempting to place a guilt trip on me. What astounds me is that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knows that a guilt trip is something one should never try with me. I will not be guilted, I will become VERY pissed off, and I will lash out. Don't guilt me over my friendship with you, how much I love you, how much I care about you or anyone else.
3. I despise the fact that some folks believe that I speak for myself and Dylan, myself and my family, myself and my co-workers, myself and my friends. I speak for NO ONE but myself, plain and simple. Do not assume what comes out of my mouth is the opinion of anyone BUT ME!
4. I do not have to be friends with everyone, even if it is somebody I had been friends with for years. Friendships fade away, and I do allow that to happen when it has become nothing but a sucking black hole. Don't try to come to the rescue of "said friendship" when it is not your concern at all. That also goes for my family. I have family members that I have no contact with. I don't want contact with them. Stay the hell out of a situation that is none of your business.
5. If I choose not to share my opinion with you, or give you advice, there is a reason. Either my opinion is so evil that I am trying to save your feelings OR I am not sharing my advice with you because you have either a. hurt my feelings in the past with snide comments about where I "get off giving anyone advice" or b. I know that my advice is wasted words.
6. You are not a friend when you only communicate with me when you need something or it is time for the holidays.
7. My friends are precious to me, and I will fight to the death for them. Therefore, I don't consider anyone I just met, people I work with on a daily basis, folks I meet at the check out counter to be "friends". I don't treat the friends that I have as tick marks on my wall....I don't wear a badge that says, "She who dies with the most friends win!" It takes a lot to earn my friendship, and it should take a lot for me to become somebody's friend.
8. I am tired of always being concerned about other's feelings and the amount of time I spend with people. I need time for me, and I am taking it. If you can't handle me asking for a "raincheck" on a dinner inviation or ANY invitation, you need to look at what is wrong with you, not what is wrong with me.
9. Guaranteed....if I just don't LIKE you or just plain HATE you, I promise YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. I not only will glare at you, I will never speak to you, make you feel completely uncomfortable and I be happy to tell you how much and why I don't like you.
10. If you have a question, concern, or a problem with me...ASK ME! Don't go to my friends, don't go to Dylan, don't go to my family....ASK ME! I promise, if you go around to everyone else, it will get back to me and I will be offended and hurt you couldn't just ask me direct.

Okay, that is much better.

By the way, don't forget to tell the old woman hag, TONI, happy birthday on Monday......hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!