Dear Diary Tuesday....

Mood....tired and questionable.

Why can I not find any websites on Pro-Anorexia? I have been searching and searching and searching and all I can find are websites discussing pro-anorexia and how evil it is. I want to see these websites, I want to read what these people have to say and to offer. I need some dieting tips, dammit!!! If you come across any websites, let me know.....I want to see what the hub-bub is.

Anyways, that is kind of the mood I woke up in. I woke up more tired than when I went to bed and I just hate that. And it stems from my entire day yesterday, which was a long one.

Yesterday, work was non-stop busy, which I am accustomed to. Then I had to take my mom to an afternoon doctor's appointment to a new physician, who I honestly really like. She is scheduled for her yearly aortic aneurysm ultrasound and a whole bunch of blood work today. The doctor has also scheduled her for her very first mammogram in two weeks and then a bone density scan at the end of the month. I tell you, this doctor is AMAZING to get my mom to do all of that. After the doctor's appointment, I had to run my mom to Barnes and Nobles to return a book, then to Wild Oats to pick up the liquid multivitamin AND the calcium she will now be taking. Then we went and got my nails done quickly. Then we stopped to pick up some dinner for both of our men, which took entirely too long because the bags that they put our food in CAUGHT FIRE and they had to remake our food....45 minutes total. Then I got home and Connie's sister was very sweet to run the Avon order to me to deliver into work. By the time I actually SAT down for 5 minutes it was 8:30. Then Dylan's work called and wanted him to come in early....we got a total of 30 minutes together.

Last night and waking up exhausted this morning made me realize something.....and it is finally just a verbal acknowledgement on my part of something I have been denying.....I really have not had a day that was just "mine". My weekends are spent spending time with the folks and other people....there had not been a day in a long time where it was just mine....to lie around, watch tv, take naps...that kind of stuff. I am either cleaning, or doing laundry, or running some one around, or grocery shopping.....all of that stuff. I have not had a day where I could just relax and not be doing SOMETHING, if you know what I mean. I honestly am going to have to schedule a day out for myself, just one day, this week. I am feeling very weary and exhausted and I think it is time before my body forces me to do that.