Dear Diary Tuesday...

I wish I could say that I have not blogged because I have been busy, but that would be a total lie. I have not blogged because I really have not been in a positive mood lately. I have also discovered that trying to force yourself to be positive is not very productive. I am having some very emotional issues lately in regards to who I am and what I have allowed into my life, in view of people. I have discovered that some individuals who are friends, are not capable of being supportive friends in all areas of my life and with all choices. I have also discovered, and happily so, that some individuals in my life who I did not think would give a rat's ass have been my biggest cheerleaders. One of the largest disappointments I have found is that some individuals think that I should compete for their friendship. One thing I will never compete for is friendship or love. I guess it is time to allow what is going to happen, to happen.

On the same note of friendships, when friendships dissipate or die, that does not mean you stop caring for that individual and for their well-being. Connie has taught me that. I can allow someone to leave my life, even push them away, but unless they have hurt me to the point that I hate them, I can't just stop worrying about how they are doing, where they are in life, if the world is being good to them. Some times it takes a "slap in the face" for me to realize how much I truly allow people into my heart. Even those that are not a part of my life at this time, will always find a shoulder to cry on, a hug to be given, an available ear if they need to talk....

Okay, I am going to work on my attitude today...Hopefully I will have a better blog later....