Dear Diary Wednesday...

I woke up in such the foul mood!!! I was awakened at 12:42 am this morning because I was too hot and could not manage to get back to sleep. In the two hours that I just laid in bed, I got myself more and more and more pissed off thinking about how I have totally turned my life over to other forces and have lived my life for the last year for other people. How pathetic is that! I have literally lived each day for over a year trying to please another person, whether it be my family, a friend, a co-worker, a boss, what have you. And I have NOBODY to blame for doing this other than myself. I even gave up my beloved Weight Watchers because I have had absolutely no time for it because I AM TOO BUSY WITH OTHER PEOPLE! Yep, I need to get my shit in order and my priorities straight. It is time to start doing what it takes to make ME happy and make other people start stepping up to help themselves out. God, I see a very long road ahead of me.....

Yesterday was a very freakin' long day. I got into work at 4:00 am, left at 8:00, drove back out to WV to pick up the folks to take my Dad to an all day appointment back up to the U of U.....and I mean ALL DAY. We got there at 9:10 and I left the U of U at 3:30. I was exhausted, my back hurt, my head hurt, and my nerves were shot due to a lot of family issues going on right now that I don't feel like discussing. I went home, got into a tub of hot water, tried to relax, and then just ended up going to bed. I wanted nothing to do with anything or anyone, just to be left alone.

And then I wake up to be a foul bitch today and I don't see it getting any better. I have to handle another appointment for my Dad after work today, but it is thankfully something that I can do by myself and don't have to have the company of anyone around me. After I finish that appointment, I plan on maybe just driving around, getting my head on straight, before I go home...but we will see. It might actually not be such a good idea for me to drive around considering some of the thoughts that were going through my head when I was coming into work!