Sunday, June 17, 2001

I guess I am pretty pathetic.

Here I am on Father's Day, having made my Father that most enjoyable meal of all times, his other childen show up, I run for cover to my den to the quietude of a facelss internet *sigh* just so that I could be away from my siblings. How pathetic am I? Oh well. If I was to analyze this for what it is worth, it is due to the uncomfortable age difference between the siblings and myself. The next youngest to me is 10 years my senior, and the ones that have come to visit are more like 16 years my senior. And the one position that makes me most uncomfortable is that I actually view myself as a "better" person than these people. Does that make me a snob? I believe it does and that I am not proud of.

Also, is it not pathetic when you have something that you SHOULD tell somebody, but you just can't seem to get the courage to tell them for fear of hurting their feelings. I must be getting old! I use to relish the thought of inflicting emotional pain upon others, friend or foe, and now I will avoid it at all costs if it is a friend. Alas, I have become a WIMP! And to those that know me, I detest weak people. I am going to work on growing the proverbial "balls" and just talk to the person, get it out in the open, clear the air, walk away a better person. And my greatest fear of it all is putting bad Karma out into the universe and waiting for the "three-fold effect" to come back to me and kick me in the ass!!!!!!

Scotty, I missed you.

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